Three Times a Charm
by Zaerith Vrinn
Summary: Sequel to "Down By The Bay" Since the split of Blitzwing's personalities, the Decepticons have to face their most challenging feat yet. Putting up with all three of them. Permanent Hiatus: GUYS THIS STORY HASN'T BEEN TOUCHED IN FOUR YEARS! QUIT ASKING!
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **Here it is the long awaited sequel to "Down By the Bay". Same deal as DBTB, this story has no intended plot so I'm open to suggestions of what is going to happen so long as it doesn't clash with anything in the original story (I.E. The base now being underwater). **  
Warning: **There's_three_ of them. "Three Times a Charm" is going to have a bit more… adult humor which will include light slashy references, HOWEVER, there are certain pairings I _will not write_ (For Example I will _not_ write BotxHuman or Lockdown/Prowl, because the bounty hunter creeps me out), before suggesting anything 'romantic' visit my profile, if it isn't on my fav pairings list, odds are I'm not going to write it, but at the same time my profile is an incomplete list, so PM me if you see want a pairing you don't see on my list, it'll save us some trouble. **  
Disclaimer: **Transformers Animated will one day belong to me. Why? Because it's already begun! Nothing happens by coincidence, you'll see! You'll ALL see!

Three Times a Charm

The morning was quite, a gentle breeze rolled across the surface of Lake Erie and the sun rose over a peak of clouds to cause the water to shimmer and sparkle. In the forest, animals took advantage of the brisk morning before it got hot later in the day. Beneath the waters, however, was a completely different story.

The Decepticon base, relocated and renovated, towered in the deep, the wild life, fish, swimming mammals and birds alike, avoided the place. And not because of the megalomaniac in charge, or the ambitious seeker who _wished _he was.

Megatron lay quietly in his recharge berth. He was perfectly still, a life time of war had made him a light sleeper, ready to jump up at the slightest indication of something wrong, the ability had saved his life (Even among his own ranks) several times. Megatron twitched suddenly. His ability to sense danger bordered on precognitive these days, and as he drifted between sleep and awake as his radar started going haywire.

Optics snapped open moments before a shrill shriek echoed through the base and the pitter-patter of feet running for their lives followed by the strong thumping of feet ready to take those lives. Megatron groaned as the door to his quarters slid open.

"Vere iz 'e!?!" Angry roared.

The Decepticon overlord sat up and matched Angry's gaze glare for glare. "I don't know," he growled, knowing exactly who the red-faced Blitzwing was referring to "Why don't you calm down and wait for him to think he's safe, and get him when he comes back?"

Calm footsteps approached and Cold appeared at the doorway as well. "Normally, I vould suggest ze same zing, but 'e drew pictures on our stabilizing-sevos vhile ve vere recharching." The blue-faced one said nonchalantly, lifting his leg to show the doodles across the bottom of his treads.

Their leader growled threateningly, he was not quite used to there being three of them. He had grown accustom to Cold and Angry being back, mostly because it gave the other Decepticons a break, since Random tended to prank his other selves as a way of 'making up for lost time'.

"Blitzwing." He rumbled, using their shared name since he was talking to both of them rather than an individual personality, "Go recharge, we'll straighten this out at a more decent hour."

Even Angry dared not argue with Megatron when the overlord had a lack of proper recharge. The two personalities dipped their heads respectfully and backed out, the door sliding shut behind them. Through it though, Megatron could already hear Angry bragging about how he was going to tear Random into pieces, and Cold argue that if he got hold of Random first tearing him into pieces would be the LAST thing he did, a bit of icy torment first.

Once their voices vanished, Megatron sighed and leaned over, looking under his berth, "They're gone," he announced, "Get out."

Random poked his head out from underneath his leader's berth, whimpering and giving puppy optics, "Can't I stay vith jou ze rest of ze night?"

"Night is over," Megatron pointed out, "Get lost."

"But-!"

"Now."

Random crawled out from under the berth and hugged Megatron's leg, "PWEAZE!?!"

Stifling a yawn, Megatron rolled his optics, "Fine, but don't make a habit of it." Random squealed delightedly squeezing his leader's leg appreciatively and crawling onto the berth with him. "And I don't want to wake up with drawings on my feet or ANYWHERE, got it?" Random nodded and snuggled into the bigger Decepticon's chassis. Megatron promptly pushed him away. "And none of that either."

The crazy part of Blitzwing's personality whimpered sadly, but decided not to push his luck and further than he had, and laid quietly for a few moments before looking up at his leader again, who was already half in recharge already, "I'll get Starscream later, vith ze egg timer."

"Whatever."

That was the deal. Megatron protected Random from his other personalities, in exchange for pranks on the whiny seeker, which seemed to keep him in line and complete immunity from any other dumb prank the triple-changer decided to pull on his fellow Decepticons. The deal didn't have any immediate or long term down end as far as Megatron could consider, and as he slipped further into recharge, the morning tranquility edged its way back into place until it was like nothing had occurred that morning.

_Too bad it won't stay that way… _

**Author's end note:** Well, there's our first installment, DBTB managed to stick around for thirty chapter and over three-hundred reviews, let's see if we can break that record shall we? Oh, and don't ask what Random intends to do with that egg timer…

**Editor's note:** The chapters been edited, don't expect more from me 'cause I've got lots more I need to do on Zaerith's other works… Leave your comments and/or suggestions and bye-bye.


	2. Looking for something Specific?

**Author's note: **Thank you all for your feed back on the prologue, though I will ask that more of you make suggestions, this chapter was made up completely because the few of you that did make suggestion, while awesome, weren't exactly opening chapter material, but I'll be keeping them in reserve for later chapters.**  
Warning: **You'll never be able to look at a 'Where's Waldo?' without thinking of Blitzwing ever again.

**Disclaimer: **Transformers Animated belongs to Hasbro, 'Where's Waldo?' belongs to Satan.

Three Times a Charm

Looking for Something Specific?

Blackarachnia stretched her arms and yawned, her body ached in a few places but the movements made it feel better. She leaned back against the wall, a nap would be just divine, all four eyes closed and she allowed herself to drift into a light slumber. The techno-organic relaxed entirely and for a few precious moments it seemed that she would never leave the tranquility of half-sleep.

Unfortunately, she happened to open her eyes.

In front of her, almost nose to nose was Blitzwing Random with the giddiest look that, in the right context, would scare anyone. Blackarachnia jumped, and Random cackled, moving something up in front of her face. She pushed it away angrily and he shoved in back, with a sigh the femme looked at what he had wanted to show her. A book.

"Vheeeeeereeee's Vaaaaaaaldoooooo?" He cried in a happy sing-sing voice.

At this point Blackarachnia shoved him off her. "Random get the slag out of here!" she roared.

The crazy Blitzwing's features drooped sadly, "But, don't jou vant to-"

"No!" She protested, "Get out."

"But-"

"NOW BLITZWING!"

The other Decepticon whimpered and scuttled away like a kicked puppy with his tail between his legs, and even turned back to the half-organic with the cutest, most pathetic puppy eyes he could muster.

Which Blackarachnia did not fall for.

"Keep going!" She ordered.

With a yelp Random dashed off before the spider got the idea to tie him up with one of her webs. Not one to be depressed for long Random opened his "Where's Waldo?' book to the first page and started his search for the ever elusive man in the red stripped shirt.

It had been Cold's idea to give it to him, and while questioned at first, the book had kept Random quiet and preoccupied for days, the only thing the other Decepticons had to worry about for now was the occasional attempt to get them to join him.

Like now.

Random giggled happily at the sight of the red faced version of him, Angry. The tank was sitting next to Starscream as the seeker whined about various things (like somehow thinking he was being singled out for Random's pranks). Angry gave both short and long, but never lacking rude, remarks back to Starscream, who only shot offensive comments back, resulting in a never ending cycle of vulgarity.

Random slammed the book down on the table in front of them making them both jump and face him. "Vill jou help me find Valdo?" He grinned.

"Absolutely not!" Starscream huffed turning away again.

"Vhat foolishness made jou zink _I_ vould!?!" Angry snarled turning away as well, probably hoping to start his war with Starscream back up. Normally being shot down would have sent Random packing, but this time he had a back-up plan.

"Bet jou're juz saying zat because jour 'fraid jou von't be able to find 'im!" He taunted.

_Direct hit._

"Of course _I_ can!" Starscream boasted snatching the book away from Random and opening it up, "It'll be easy!" His optics scanned the crowd in red and white looking for the specific brown-haired man with the big dorky glasses.

Angry too, grabbed at the book and began searching, also claiming it to be a piece of energy cake. Delighted Random crawled over and squeezed between them, scrutinizing every person and discarding them when he could proudly say 'not him'. A few minutes passed and Random heard Starscream mutter "This is harder then it looks" under his breath. Random suppressed a giggle.

A door opened, Cold and Megatron walked in making a light conversation as they passed, but they stopped and backtracked at the sight of the two Blitzwing personalities and Starscream huddled together with the 'Where's Waldo?' book nestled between them. It took a few moments before the aforementioned 'cons noticed them however.

"What do _you_ want?" Starscream growled glaring at Megatron.

"What the slag are you doing?" Megatron growled back.

"Ve're looking for Valdo!" Random declared happily.

"Iz zat so?" Cold asked, walking over and taking a peak at the book, "I vasn't avare jou vere interested in ziz sort ov zing, Angry."

"I'm not!" The red-faced Blitzwing snapped, "I juz vasn't going to let Valdo beat me!"

"You're aware that you're talking about a fictional flesh creature on a piece of paper right?" Megatron said as he came forward and grabbed Cold's shoulder, "Come on, we'll be late for our daily high-grade session, Soundwave's waiting for us."

"No Lugnut?" Starscream asked.

"I sent him on a mission to the moon." Came the reply.

"Why?" The seeker raised an optic ridge, as far as he knew there was nothing of interest on the moon.

"To get rid of him." Megatron answered, "He and Soundwave are fighting again, its best just to get them as far away from each other as possible." Cold stood over them looking at the picture of men dressed in similar cloths looking for the one named Waldo. A sudden "Ah-ha…" informed them that Cold had found their quarry.

"I see…" Starscream muttered, "GRRR WHERE IS WALDO!?!" he cried jealous of Cold's findings.

Megatron rolled his optics and pointed at the picture, right underneath his finger was Waldo, "He's _right there_." The Decepticon leader said impatiently, "Come on Cold." He ordered, beckoning the Blue-faced jet to follow him.

"Yes sir."

The two Blitzwings and the seeker were left in shocked silence and stood dumbly as they tried to process how the two other Decepticons could have _possibly_ found Waldo so quickly. "How do they do that!?" Starscream demanded.

"Its jour fault ve didn't find Valdo!" Angry accused pointing his finger at the seeker.

'Oh _really_!?" Starscream shouted, "How do you figure!?"

"Jour ze von oo kept moving ze book around so none ov us could see it!" Angry explained.

"Is that what you think!?"  
"JA!"  
"YEAH?"  
"JA!"

"Oh ho!" Random giggled turning the page, completely ignoring the fighting Decepticons, "look I zink I found 'im on zis page!…Vait no, zat's not him…"

**Author's end note:** Damn you Waldo for being so hard to find…

**Editor's note: **-to be added-


	3. Good Call

**Author's Note: **Okay, so my sister has been sick practically all week, and I haven't been sleeping well, so I haven't had time to really get to work on this, and so this is really no more than last minute thrown together with a couple things I have been planning since DBTB. Hope you enjoy. **  
Warning: **Lack of sleep leads to lack of inspiration, this was the best I could come up with.

**Disclaimer: **I asked the dream fairy to give me the rights to TFA, and my wish came true…but remember this was the _dream_ fairy, I only own them while I'm sleeping.

Three Times a Charm

Good Call

Megatron yawned and pressed a servo to his head. This daily high-grade session with Cold and Soundwave, and/or Lugnut (It was rare they could get the two of them to behave long enough to have a decent drink together) was getting out of hand. The day before Soundwave had suggested a drinking game, one in which the last mech standing had to clean up the mess.

Megatron rolled to his side with a groan; he could remember anything after the round of "Would you Rather…?". The last question he could clearly recall was Cold's "Vould jou rather be stuck in a room vith Random, or die by friendly fire?" He of course had chosen the friendly fire, Soundwave for some unfathomable reason, thought he'd rather be stuck in a room with Random.

"Morning Zir." Cold's voice was smooth as silk, or at least it would have been had it not been for the hangover. Megatron groaned again trying to shut off his audios. Onlining his optics he could make out the Blitzwing's figure in the dark room. The light had been previously turned of to prevent the glare giving them more trouble than it was worth with their current hangovers.

"Nnngggghhh…" The Decepticon leader stretched and took the cube of fresh energon Cold offered as a remedy for the last night's over energizing. "Who won?" he asked sluggishly.

Cold's optics shifted nervously, "Technically…" he said, "_Jou_ did, but I stopped playing after jou an' Soundvave started exchanging tales of vhich Autobot jou vould vant to zleep vith. I've noticed jou 'ave a zing for Primes. Jou vere still drinking at 3:00 am, passed out close to 4:00. I had to clean myself."

"Marvelous." Megatron groaned nonchalantly, rubbing his head, "You couldn't wait until I sobered up to do it myself."

"Actually zir, I think jou vould have had a zhort circuit at ze sight of ze mez." The energon was clearing Megatron's processor, the sound of Cold's voice wasn't deafening anymore, just a little annoying.

"Wait, why would the mess give me a short circu- wait don't tell me, let me guess," he replied with a half smirk, "I was doing transform-ups, wasn't I?"

Cold nodded, "And cartveels." He added, "Jour sense of balance iz vay off vhen jou're intoxicated."

Megatron chuckled, "What time is it anyway?"

"Almostd noon zir, just a vittle past 11:30." The icy personality answered.

This made Megatron jump, "SLAG!" he cursed, "I'm supposed to be receiving an important report update from Lust in half-an hour."

"Lust?" Cold repeated, he stopped a moment to consider where he had heard of a 'con with that name… "Zat clone jou created?"

Megatron nodded, "She said thatshe and Overlord had important information. Excuse me." He rushed out of the room to the main communications center trying to make sure he looked presentable when the call from the clones came.

And finally it did.

"Greetings Lord Megatron." The female Starscream saluted on screen.

Megatron nodded back to her, "Greetings Overlord." He was about to continue when she raised a hand to silence him.

"That's not my name." she told him, "Its _Slipstream_ now."

"Slipstream?" he repeated, "What was wrong with Overlord?"

Slipstream shrugged as if it should be obvious, "Its one thing for Lust to call me 'Overlord the walking Overload', but when everyone starts doing it gets _real_ annoying."

"I see." Megatron replied, "I understand, I had the same problem with the nickname 'Sex Kitten' before the war."

"'Sex Kitten?'" Slipstream raised an optic ridge.

"Apparently I purr." Megatron answered folding his arms, "Enough now, what did you and Lust have to tell me that was so important?"

Slipstream opened her mouth to reply, when she was shoved aside by the female Megatron, "We have discovered the enemy's greatest weakness." She declared, "The Autobots suffer from a _lack_ of _sex_. Give us some time with them and we'll have them all horny little nymphomaniacs, by the time you- hey!" Lust was shoved back aside by Slipstream.

"Excuse her Lord Megatron, she's joking, the _real_ reason we're calling," she said glaring back at Lust who blew her a kiss, "Is that Cyclonus sent us a file with information on the Elite Guard, seems Shockwave- er- 'Long Arm' is still facing molestation charges, I don't know." She tapped a few things into the computer in front of her, "Sending you the info now."

"Receiving." Megatron replied as the computer on his end downloaded the file, he tried to open it but was blocked a something asking for a password, he relayed this to the femmes on the other side.

"Oh, right." Lust said, "We had a close call a few days ago when some Autobutts- I mean Auto_bots_ broke in here, I put a password protection on everything."

"And the password to this?" Megatron asked waving his hand impatiently.

Lust almost sparkled with glee, "Prime's Aft."

Megatron's only response was a flabbergasted look as he typed the password in and accessed the file.

"Don't look at _me_ like that, I'm the epitome of _your_ desires," Lust replied shaking her finger at him "Of all things you should be ashamed of yourself."

Cold's earlier words came back to him, _"I've noticed jou 'ave a zing for Primes."_

"Eh, true enough." He muttered skimming through the data, thinking of a single Prime in particular, "Fascinating, I wonder how Cyclonus managed to get hold of this… Great work girls, I look forward to further success from you."

"Anytime, my liege." Slipstream bowed, Megatron wished he could get that kind of respect from the original Starscream he had kept.

"Tell Optimus I said 'Hi' and grab his aft for me!" Lust giggled, "Maybe the ninja too, or the yellow kid, heck the old medic could get a squeeze for all I care!" The giggle became a full amused laugh as she bumped her hips from side to side licking her lips.

Slipstream rolled her optics, "Ignore her."

"I'm, trying."

"Oh Steamy Streamy," Lust purred, "You're just _jealous_ that an _Autobot_ is going to get a piece of this," she caressed her body seductively, "Before _you_ do."

"Don't EVER call me that!" The female Starscream hissed.

"Whatever." The other femme replied grabbing Slipstream's aft. Megatron was about to make a comment when the line was cut and the two femmes vanished away into static.

"Somethings just don't change…" he sighed shaking his head, apparently he and Starscream were just _never_ meant to get along.

A shadow crept unnoticed along the wall. Unnoticed until Megatron's sensors started tingling, but before he could properly prepare for whatever was about to happen, it did.

"GOOOOOOOOOT MOOOOOOOORNNNNNIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!" Random cried jumping on him from behind and planting a cute smack on his cheek and running off, "CATCH ME IF JOUR CAN!!! HOO HAA HAA!!!!'

"RAAAAAANDOOOOOOM!!!" Several voices shrieked and the clanking and banging of many feet came and went while Megatron tried to process what exactly had just happened. After which he joined the chase.

**Author's end note: **So I had being hearing the female Starscream's name was Overlord for several months, and then I heard it was officially made into Slipstream, but by then I'd already posted the DBTB chapter with the clones in it, and I didn't have time to work the name change into that story, so I put it in to this one, pretty clever, ne?

**Editor's note:** -Still on hiatus-


	4. Parental Problems

**Author's Note: **Well after a spirit week at school I'm glad I missed most of it, seriously my school has the LAMEST spirit days, and I'm glad to be working on something that makes me and others smile.**  
Warning: **Standard applies. Hints at Self-cest.

**Disclaimer: **Cold would keep me in an ice lock for study, Angry would melt me into soup, and Random would take me apart to see what color my insides are (Random: Juz fer fun^^) if I tried claiming them as mine.

Three Times a Charm

Parental Problems

Random quivered in the corner as the whole group of Decepticons advanced on him, led by Angry and Cold. Perhaps he shouldn't have included Megatron in his 'morning mischief' (He'd been at it since 5:30, he just hadn't gotten to the Decepticon leader until noon), at least then he would have had a shield.

Megatron pushed his way to the front with Angry and Cold, glaring daggers at Random, his optics flashed like lightning, which in any other case Random would have thought was cool and insisted that his leader teach him how to do it, but now it just added to the building terror. Random gulped loudly.

"Blitzwing." He said using their unit name to let them know that he was addressing all three of them, "I am _sick_ of this. Angry, Cold, _control_ him! I don't care how you do it, just figure something out." He turned to the other Decepticons, "We'll let him get away just this _once_, next time, be sure to-ANGRY!" he snapped turning back to the Blitzwings.

"I VILL POUND JOU INTO SCAP METAL! CHEW JOU UP AND SPIT JOU BACK OUT AGAIN-" Angry cried shaking Random threateningly until Megatron yelled, Cold appeared to be trying to calm the hothead.

"I said 'control him' not 'disassemble him'." The overlord growled.

"Thought disassembling him sounds like a plan." Starscream muttered. "That's what a _real_ leader would want."

"Shut up." Megatron snapped at him, "I'm in no mood for your insubordination, Starscream."

Immediately Soundwave and Lugnut both stepped up to come to Megatron's defense, but the moment they caught sight of the other, they glared and began boasting about who was most loyal (Well Lugnut boasted, Soundwave insisted, backed by Frenzy and Rumble) to their 'magnificent leader'.

Blackarachnia rolled her eyes, "Forget being normal again, at this point I think I'd rather go off-line."

"I 'ave an idea." Cold announced to his split personalities, "Ve can be a family." He pointed to Random, "Jou vill be ze son," nodding to Angry he added, "Jou vill be ze Mommy, and I vill be ze Daddy."

Random started clapping excitedly, anything would be better then whatever his fellow Decepticons would do to him otherwise. It was Angry who had a problem with this idea.

"Vhy do _I_ have to be Mommy!?" he exclaimed, "_Jou_ be Mommy, _I'll_ be Daddy!"

Random started clapping happier at this idea, but Cold simply shook his head, "Nein, I vill be Daddy and jou will be Mommy."

Angry took a threatening step towards Cold and pointed to himself "Daddy!"

Cold didn't even flinch, "Mommy." He said calmly.

"Daddy!"

"Mommy."

"Daddy!"

"Mommy."

"Daddy!"

"Mommy."

"Mommy Daddy, are jou fighting over me?" Random cackled.

Meanwhile Megatron had kicked both Soundwave and Lugnut out of the room and had them both confined to their private quarters 'until they were ready to apologize and act like 'grown-ups', and also had Starscream chased out of the base. Done with those distractions he turned back to the arguing Blitzwings, "That's enough you two." He snapped, but as he was about to demote them to whiney older siblings and make himself and Blackarachnia (Who was apparently the only one who knew how to behave herself) the parents, Angry made his argument final.

Even Random had to stare in dumb shock when Angry kissed Cold, hard, violently and almost passionately. A moment of perfect silence passed before Angry let him go and stubbornly announced, "_I_ am Daddy, _jou_ are Mommy!"

Cold was too stunned to argue.

However it was about this time when Angry realized what a mistake he had made.

"Mommy, Daddy!" Random said jumping up between them and starting a big group hug, "I'm so glad jou aren't fighting anymore! I vas beginning to zink jou might get a divorce!"

The remaining Decepticons were either laughing or smirking, Megatron wolf-whistled, "That was hot Angry, kiss him again!"

"Seriously," Blackarachnia called, "And try holding it for a little longer, I wanna take a picture for my website!"

Had they been human, Angry's face would have been the same shade of red it was in his robot form, and Cold's would have been a deep rose color. Random would have been red from suppressed laughter. He wasn't going to let them live this one down.

_Ever_.

**Author's End Note:** -Evil cackles- I'm not letting them live it down either, based off something my muses actually did. You think _you_ have it bad, just imagine what its like up here, -points to head- Anyway I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

**Editor's Note:** Okay, I hope I got all the mistakes, if I didn't you know the drill. Review as always, no flames and please hold your horses, we're brainstorming the next chapter as I type.


	5. In the Loop

**Author's note: **Thus far I don't think I've made any indication that Shockwave knows what's happening with Blitzwing, and so this chapter is based around Shockwave/LongArm finally getting in the loop.

**Warning: **Randomness, mocking of Angry and Cold, slight hints at LongArm/Jolt (Based on a joke from the Armada series between my sister and I) and fun with the Elite Guard.

**Disclaimer: **If I had ten dollars for every review for all my TFA fics including the Blitzwing crack files, 'Decadence', 'Darkness of the Unknown' 'Belonging' and my 'Stages' series I would have close to $5520, I don't think that's enough to buy the rights to TFA, and besides that's only if I had ten bucks for every review which I don't.

Three Times a Charm

In the Loop

LongArm stood in the center of them committee, he felt like he was on trial, and he might as well be because of the little affair he'd had with the, then Autobot recruit, since the trouble had started, Jolt had graduated and been sent to join an off-planet team guarding a moon on some distant planet still in Autobot territory.

_Molestation charges?_ He thought bitterly, _How can I be facing molestation charges when Jolt himself said it was consensual?_ He glanced at the huddled Autobots who were at that moment deciding his fate. He knew exactly where this was going to go, he was going to be booted out of the Elite Guard, he just knew it, and forced to return to the Decepticon army a failure.

Megatron was not going to be happy…

"LongArm Prime." Ultra Magnus said. The double agent looked up worriedly, seemed they were finished discussing his sentence, "You will report to your station immediately, once this meeting is concluded, your charges have been dropped, but I don't ever want to hear about you and Jolt or _any_ bot younger than 100 stellar cycles than you, again. Understand?"

"Huh, wh-what? Dropped?" He hadn't seen that coming, he tried to stop his next question, afraid that it would cost him the freedom he'd been handed. He couldn't. "Why?"

Thankfully Ultra Magnus wasn't a grouch, "The same reason I'm not sending Sentinel to therapy," LongArm stared in confusion as the aforementioned Prime protested that he did not need therapy "the two of you are simply too valuable to the Autobot cause to be away for very long."

"Is that why you called me and the twins back from our vacation?" Sentinel asked, Ultra Magnus nodded with an apologetic frown "Oh great, do you know what those two did to me when I said we had to come back?"

"Cried?" Jazz answered for Ultra Magnus.

"Slag right, they cried!" Sentinel continued pointing a finger at Jazz, "And mind you there are _two_ of them! Twice the waterworks and they were shrieking at different pitches too! You don't know annoy until you hear two jets cry!"

"I understand Sentinel Prime-" Ultra Magnus started.

"-No you don't!" Sentinel interrupted, "Try taking Jetfire and Jetstorm on vacation and while they're having the time of their lives, telling them they have to go back to their normal boring lives! _Then_ you can tell me you understand!" Sentinel was too busy rambling to notice Ultra Magnus turn back to LongArm

"This is exactly why the council wants me to send him to therapy." He whispered pointing to the blue Prime as Sentinel went on about how nobody understood him at all and that maybe he should just go on vacation again and _never_ come back, "His little outburst are getting more frequent."

"Its stress sir." LongArm offered, "I think maybe you should relieve a few of his duties and _then_ send him to therapy."

"I _don't_ need therapy!" Sentinel protested.

"I'll consider it, but for now it's not like he's going to go crazy and join an Autobot holocaust." 1-

LongArm shrugged, "Whatever you say sir. So uh…" he glanced to the door nervously, "Can I just go back to work _now_?"

"I _mean_ it Jazz, leave me ALONE!"

"Come on Sent! Just _one_ 'lil smile! It'll make you feel better~"

Ultra Magnus sighed, "Yes LongArm Prime, go ahead return to your duties, I don't think we're going to get any further here."

"Thank you." he nodded and exited, about half way done the hall he heard a should that made him both grateful he'd gotten out of there and burst into a run back to his personal quarters.

"Jazz, you _**IDIOT**__!_ Now look what you did! I hope Primus will let you plea bargain because Ultra Magnus won't when he wakes up!"

Safe in the solitude of his personal quarters LongArm gave a relieved sigh, and shifted into his true form. Heaving another sigh he locked the door and shut all closed of all the windows, ready to update Megatron. The was silence for a few minutes as he sent his transmission, he was beginning to think perhaps the Decepticons on 'Earth' were not at the base when Megatron's faced appeared through the static.

"What is it Shockwave?" he growled. Shockwave noticed immediately how flustered his true leader appeared.

"I…uh…have some good news for you sir." He hesitated. "Is everything all right my Lord?" the double agent asked.

"Everything is fine Shockwave I just -RANDOM get that _thing_ out of the base!" Megatron's shout was followed by Random Blitzwing's disappointed groan.

Something did add up to Shockwave. They rarely referred to Blitzwing's personalities by specific names; Blitzwing was Blitzwing no matter if Angry, Cold, or Random was dominate. "Sir?" he asked again.

The Decepticon leader turned back to him with a sigh, "What was that good news you had for me?"

Shockwave hesitated again, "…Well, my lord Megatron, sir, I wanted to let you know that-" he was once again by Megatron shouting at Blitzwing.

"ANGRY! _Not _in the base!" He pointed his finger threateningly off screen to where Shockwave assumed Blitzwing was.

But once again Megatron had referred to a specific personality. "Megatron, sir, what is going on over there?" he asked.

"Its nothing you should be concerned about Shockwave, just a little-" he cut off in mid-sentence, "Cold! COLD! Do something about those two!"

"Sir?"

"Never you mind Shockwave, just get on with it." The double agent lifted his optic ridge as Blitzwing Cold crossed the screen behind Megatron, from the opposite direction he had pointed when shouting at Blitzwing before. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Well sir, I just wanted to tell you…" he could he muffled shouting coming from Megatron's side of the conversation"…that we don't need to worry about that thing with Jolt anymore, my charges are being dropped and-" Megatron turned away suddenly.

"Angry, Cold! We don't have time for this; take your sick little love affair out of here and GET A ROOM!"

"Ve are not 'aving a love affair." Cold said walking but so that he was visible on the screen behind Megatron, and to Shockwave's surprise, was followed by Angry. Who also protested to the term, though not as politely as his other personality.

"I don't care what you want to call it, just get out, and take Random with you!" The overlord snapped.

On cue Random ran up jumping on his other personalities, "Mommy! Daddy! I vant to get Energon cones! Can ve?"

"OUT!" Megatron ordered with a roar that made the three of them split faster then a group of Autobots caught gambling. The Decepticon leader turned back to his double agent, "So…you were saying?"

"Pardon me sir," Shockwave replied, "But, and I hope I'm not overstepping my rank, I think there's something you should tell _me_."

A loud crash and the sound of an alarm going off distracted Megatron for a moment. Shouts arose from various directions and several Decepticons ran past Megatron after the Blitzwings. "It's a long story." He sighed.

"Attention Autobots we are now in a code yellow lockdown. This is not a drill." A voice announced over the intercom on Shockwave's side.

"Well, my liege," The spy said, "It seems I have plenty of time."

**Author's note: **I had fun planning this one, but I think I'm seriously gonna need some real suggestion for the next chapter, this is no different then DBTB, just that there's now three Blitzwings instead of one, have fun!

**Second note:** This chapter was not edited, because my editor is suffering from a peptic ulcer and it hurts for her to get out of bed, wish her well!

1- This is a light reference to 'Darkness of the Unknown', where this is unfortunately what happens, if you have the time, please R&R, it is one of my personal favorite works and could use reviews.


	6. Singalong!

**Author's note: **Sorry Ya'll, last week both me and my sister were sick so neither of us really thought about what to do for this week's update, and because we were so sick didn't get a chance to look at the reviews for inspiration.

**Warning: **I had a fever of 101.3 degrees last week, this is the result of a high fever and watching an pre-1990s version of Cinderella.

**Disclaimer: **The Transformers are not mine and neither are the songs, and if you have never heard them, I recommend looking them up on Youtube, just because their fun.

Three Times a Charm

Sing-Along

The Constructicons pushed their vocals to their limits as they mixed concrete and laid out the plans for their latest project; wondering once again, how did they get suckered into _this_ one?

"Impossible~!" Mixmaster sang, "For plain Yellow Pumpkin to become a Golden Carriage~"

"Impossible~!" Scrapper picked up on cue, "For a plain country bumpkin and a Prince to join in Marriage~!"

"Impozzible~ Impozzible~!" a third, much higher voice chorused.

Mixmaster rolled his optics as he finished setting up the diagram he needed, "But the world is full of zanies~ and fools!"

Scrapper joined him adding a few pieces of iron to the frame, "Who don't believe in Sensible rules!"

"'And don't believe vhat senseible people zay!"

"Random!" Three figures stomped forward grabbing the Blitzwing personality as he and the Constructicons started the next line, his personal favorite in the song. He yelped in protest, but Blackarachnia, Angry and Cold, held him tight.

"Vhat are Jou doing to ze Constructicons!?!" Angry demanded.

"I…er-Vhat?" Random looked around innocently.

"Don't play games!" the Techno organic snapped, tuning to Mixmaster and Scrapper she addressed them with a sweet almost motherly tone that she normally reserved for her little Waspinator, who was currently taking a nap, "Is he making you sing that song with him?"

"Actually he-" Scrapper started, but Blackarachnia and the other Blitzwings didn't bother to hear what the Constructicons had to say.

"Jou ought to be ashamed ov jourself." Cold admonished.

Blackarachnia smiled at Angry and Cold. "Well, well." she teased, "Aren't you just fitting into your proclaimed roles nicely?"

"Vhat are jou talking about!?" Angry shouted.

As if waiting for a signal Ransom started to wail, "Bu' Mommy! Daddy! I didn't do it!"

Under the visor Angry almost visibly rolled his optics and took a step away from Cold, as the icy personality gave and embarrassed cough and did likewise.

Blackarachnia laughed, teasing the two Blitzwings for the Mommy and Daddy thing was the most fun she'd had since catching the Constructicons she was now defending, on the highway cat-calling non-sentient cars.

"Um, guys…" Scrapper said raising his hand trying to get their attention.

Mixmaster put a hand in front of his buddy, "Hold on there a minute, Scrapper." He cautioned, "I wanna see how this goes."

After a few minutes of pointless arguing, the three newcomers were back on Random's case about 'forcing the Constructicons to sing' and the punishment he should receive. Angry of course wanted to beat him senseless (which Random protested as to being child abuse). Cold suggested taking away the Where's Waldo? Book, Angry protested that he didn't look at it enough anymore, but Random shrieked at the idea of his book being taken away. Finally Blackarachnia sighed.

"Hey, Random!" she said, "Somewhere in this base I hid a present for you."

All three Blitzwings looked up, "A present?" Random squealed excitedly.

"Oh yes," she continued, "It's really big, shiny and makes lots of noise."

"YES!" Random tapped his foot happily at the thought of something noisy; the other two personalities dropped their jaws at the thought of their random counterpart getting his servos on such a thing.

"But!" She warned, "It's also invisible. Go find the invisible noisy thing!"

"YAY!" Random took off, not even thinking about the impossibility of such a thing existing.

"Clevah." Cold remarked calmly.

"Vhat's so 'clevah' about zat!?" Angry disagreed, "All she did vas zend 'im to look for zomthing zat vould allow 'im to cause more trouble!"

"Obviously jou do not understand vhat Blackarachnia's ploy vas." Cold countered.

"Vhat ploy vas zere to get!? She vants us to suffer! She's on _'is_ side!'

"Oh, Angry." Blackarachnia grinned, "I saw this really awesome prototype weapon that Megatron was working on, but he had a invisible shield put over it. Go see if you can find it."

"And Jou bet I vill!" The hot-headed Blitzwing declared storming off to find the non-existent weapon, as unaware of how easily he had been tricked like Random.

"I applaud jou ma'am, I dun zink anyvon else vould 'ave dared get Angry like zat." Cold complimented.

"Thank you." She answered with a bow. "Cold I have a job for you."

"Should we tell them now?" Scrapper whispered.

"Nah." Mixmaster replied grabbing two cans of oil and handing one to his partner, "I like where this is headed."

"Vhat is it Blackarachnia?"

"I have a box, and in it I left a _little_ surprise…" she started.

"Le me guez." The smart one of the three personalities interrupted. "Ze box iz invisible, right?"

"Yes! Exactly, that's why I can't find it anymore!" she smiled.

"And jou vant me too find it, nein?"

The spider only nodded.

Cold laughed, "Jou don't zink I'm actually going to fall for zat, do jou?" he paused a moment to stare at her serious face, "Zeroretically, if I vent to find it…vhere do jou think I vould 'av ze most luck finding it?" his optics shifted curiously.

The spider's grin only got bigger. "When I saw it, it was in Megatron's private quarters."

"And vhat exactly vere jou doing in zere?" Cold said placing his hands on his hips doubtfully.

"Receiving orders not to let Starscream know what was in the box." She answered.

"Right…" Cold took a few backward steps towards the door, his optics shifting back and forth, "Vell I vas in Megatron's quarters earlier, an' I zink I left something in zere so I'll jus be…" he trailed off, heading outside and going to look for the box.

Blackarachnia shook her head with an amused grin, Random was predictable, Angry was funny, but Cold falling for that was just _sad_. She laughed, and started heading out.

"Hey, Mix?" Scrapper asked, "Should we tell her _now_?"

Mixmaster watched the techno-organic exit the room, "Nah, I like how the worked out."

The door opened suddenly, "Why aren't you singing!?" Starscream demanded upon entering.

The Constructicons yelped and looked each other in the optics before shyly beginning a new song.

"I uhhh…ahem….Ten minutes ago I saw you~" Mixmaster began "I looked you as you came through the door~"

Starscream laughed, the true mastermind behind the singing Constructicons, and he was getting away with it. "Dance!" he ordered. Immediately the two grabbed each other in an awkward waltz. Starscream was their superior, and unlike with Blitzwing they dared not defy him, because the air command would not hesitate to open fire if they did not do as 'the future leader of the Decepticons' commanded.

It was going to be a _long_ day.

**Author's End note: **Yes I realize this is really short, and I'd write more, but my keyboard is acting like crap so we're just going to have to deal for now.

**Editor's note: **Thanks to everyone who wished me better I really appreciate it! I'm doing a little better so I was able to do some editing, as usual review, leave a suggestion and if you find a mistake that I may have missed, please report it.


	7. Oh FRAG!

**Author's note: **Okay, so I _would_ have done this last week, because there were awesome suggestions, but I had that high fever, and singing Constructicons invaded my mind, so anyway this is what would have been written had I not gotten sick. Also Happy Halloween.

**Warning: **I think looking at the reviews for the last to chapters would be warning enough.

**Disclaimer:** Don't look at me, this one's all _their_ fault -is arrested for crack-

Three Times a Charm

Oh FRAG!

Random slunk around the base; he did that whenever he was bored, because by slinking around the base he got to see what everyone else was doing, and thus found a way to cause trouble, for now his biggest targets were Megatron, who was seemingly asleep on his throne, and Cold, who was in the lab.

Random of course remembered his deal with Megatron and would prefer to keep the protection he had under it, and he's also learned from past experiences that Megatron did not sleep heavily and would be ready for him if he tried anything. And that was _if_ he wasn't asleep. If he _was_ asleep…Well, Random wasn't sure whether or not to believe this, but Starscream once said that he had tried to kill Megatron while he was recharging, but ended up getting his aft handed to him, Megatron recalled no such thing happening, leading to the theory that Megatron could kill a bot in his sleep.

Whatever, clearly Cold was the better choice.

The door opened silently, and Random slipped in, holding his intakes like a human breath, if he knew Cold, which he did, he would be almost as prepared for anything as Megatron. Best not let him know anyone was there. Cold lifted up a vial of some royal blue chemical that, because they had once been the same 'con, Random did know its name, but since Random was Random, he could have cared less about it. He was about two feet behind Cold, he took a deep intake, and lifted his arms ready to shout 'boo!' when-

"Don't even zink about it." Cold said nonchalantly, "If ve get zese two zubstances mixed up too much…" He turned around and demonstrated with his servos the resulting explosion, "Kaboom."

"Kaboom?" Random repeated. His mind wandered to what sort of results such an explosion would achieve.

"Don't even zink about it." Cold warned again. "Go play somevhere else."

Random whimpered and slunk off dejectedly.

It was in the hall that he bumped into Wasp. The little green bot had been so quiet recently, Random had almost forgotten about Blackarachnia's 'son'. The two bot's examined each other cocking their heads. Then Random grinned manically, "Vant to play!?" he all but screamed.

Wasp considered himself too old for games, but at the same time, with all that had happened to him since those stellar cycles ago when he had been accused of treason, he longed for the innocent games of a youngling, so he slowly nodded. "What Blitz-random want to play?" he asked.

If Random had a tail it would have been wagging furiously at the fact that someone actually wanted to play with him, without asking what the catch was. Normally he would have suggested a highly dangerous game, but Wasp's innocent blind faith in Random's playfulness made him want to actually play a good game.

"Evah 'eard ov hide-and-seek?" he asked.

Wasp nodded, of course, it was a universal favorite among younglings of all species. "Wasp hide first?" The ex-Autobot prisoner asked.

"Vhy not?" Random turned and hide his face in the wall, "I'll count to von-hundred, zen find jou."

Wasp was already running off to find a place to hide.

--

Cold was still in his lab when he heard the slightest noise of someone entering and walking across the room toward him. He could easily identify his fellow Decepticons by the sound of their footsteps, and turned around to greet Angry.

"Vhat do jou vant?" He asked politely.

"Dun play games!" Angry shouted, he always shouted and acted like everyone else was the reason he was 'angry', "I vas looking for Random! 'ave jou seen 'im!?"

Cold looked his counterpart over, he remembered perfectly well Angry homicidal tendencies, and the results they could end up with "Vhat for?" he asked cautiously.

"Nozing jou zould be conzerned vith!" Angry snapped, "Now vhere is 'e!?"

"If jou von't tell me vhat jou vant, I von't tell jou vhere jou might find him." Cold replied calmly.

"Jou vill tell me right now, or I'll crush jour face plates vith jour landing pads!" the red faced Blitzwing shouted.

"Nien, jou vouldn't. And I'm too busy to deal vith jou anyvay." The blue faced once sighed turning back to his work.

"Tell me!"

"Nien."

"Now Cold!"

"Nien."

"NOW!"

"Nien."

Cold was dripping a modicum of the blue chemical into a vial filled with another element of a reddish-orange color, the same experiment he had been doing earlier when he had told Random to get out, but this time he had forgotten to warn Angry about the explosives.

"NOW!" Angry howled punching Cold in the back of the head, making him spill more of the substance into the other vial.

_**KABOOM!**_

--

For those wondering, Megatron had truly been recharging, perhaps the first decent rest he had gotten in several days, when the explosion went off. The fact that the overlord had been perfectly at peace in his previous recharge did not scramble his ability to sense who was the cause of what and how to punish them.

**"BLIIIIIITZWIIIIIIIING!!!" **

--

The three Blitzwings stood in front of their leader, who was fuming from both his sudden rude awakening and the amount of damage that had been caused by the blast. The Decepticon leader had granted the Constructicons a few days leave after her had found out about Starscream's plan to use them to build something while forcing them to sing theater. It was funny in a way, but Starscream crossed the line when he convinced them to serenade Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Anywhere you go" from The Phantom of the Opera to each other as they worked. So the Constructicon weren't there to organize, repair, or determine what parts would be needed or tell how long it would take to fix it.

Oh, there were no words for how angry Megatron was right now.

And things only got worse as Blackarachnia arrived claiming that she couldn't find Wasp anywhere, and because it was always Random's fault in her opinion, the other Blitzwings got blamed as well for 'bad parenting'. The Decepticons at the base (with the exception of Wasp who was still missing, even as Random tried to explain that they were playing hide-and-seek) gathered in a group, huddled, and discussed what they would do to the three 'cons as punishment for their recent behavior.

For once Random remained calm during the discussion, completely used to this predicament by now, while Angry glanced around nervously, looking for any means of escape, while Cold glared at the two of them for getting him in trouble when he had been little more then an innocent bystander. A complete reverse in roles indeed.

Finally it was decided, and the group dispersed allowing Megatron to tell the Blitzwings their fate, "The three of you are hereby kicked out of this base for a total of one week, effective immediately." He decreed, "And if we catch any of you trying to sneak back in, we'll add another week, is that clear?" Obviously they were hoping that the Blitzwings _would_ try to get back in so they could get rid of them for another week.

"Yessir." They groaned.

"And if we ever need you during the week…say an Allspark fragment is detected and we have to wrestle it away from some Autobot glitches, you will report to the battle front without delay!" Starscream added.

"Yessir."

"Good, now get out." The other Decepticons finished.

"Yes." The three sulked away, wondering what they were going to do for a week outside the base. Only Random seemed to be excited by this thought.

Megatron sat down, "So a week without Blitzwing…" he grumbled, "What are we going to…zzz" The Decepticon leader dozed off in mid-sentence, seemed he was exhausted from everything that had been going on recently. But one particular Decepticon wasn't about to let him leave some business unfinished.

"Megatron!" Blackarachnia cried, "What about Waspinator?"

Megatron's optics lit up for a moment, "Feh, records show he hasn't left the base, he'll turn up." The great Decepticon was about to go back to sleep when Blackarachnia jumped on his lap shaking his shoulders furiously and shouting angrily.

"Listen here!" She growled, "Waspinator is the only thing left in this base I care about, and _we_ are going to find him _if we have to tear it down!_" The techno organic hissed when Lugnut and Soundwave came up to Megatron's defense.

Megatron blinked a couple of times, and shoved the spider off him "Alright, _alright_, we'll find Wasp, but once we do I don't want _anyone_," he looked directly at Soundwave and Lugnut as he emphasized, 'anyone' "Within a fifty foot radius of me, for…two days, otherwise, I'm liable to have a psychotic break down and slaughter the lot of you. Understood?"

"Yes sir!" They agreed.

"Alright, let's find Wasp then."

--

"I can't belive jou guys got me kick out ov ze base." Cold whined.

"Vel don't blame me, I vas juz trying to find Random so I could ask 'im vhere 'e put ze wrench he took from ze workshop!"

Cold stopped in his tracks, Random was bounding up ahead, he turned to Angry immeadiatly, "Iz zat vhat zat vas about?" he asked raising an optic ridge.

"I told jou it cas nozing jou had to be concerned about!" The red faced Blitzwing growled. Cold did not reply so Angry decided to continue, "And if Jou had juz answered my question in ze first place jou vould still be playing vith jour stupid chemistry zet!"

Was that…an apologetic tone he just heard?

"Zo, vhy did't jou juz tell me, zat jou vanted the wrench? I knew vhere it vas." Cold asked, experimently he took a step closer to Angry.

The other Blitzwing turned away embarrassed, "I zought jou vere too busy to 'deal vith me'!" he snapped, "Besides, vhy couldn't jou juz tell me vhere Random vas, without asking stupid questions? Don't jou trust me!?"

Cold was positive he'd heard it that time. Pain. He'd hurt Angry by assuming that he wanted to tear random apart for something. The icy personally felt a pang a of guilt slice through him like a knife, he wanted to apologize, but just like Angry, he had too much pride to admit he'd made a mistake. Instead he reached out and put a hand on the hotheaded Blitzwing's shoulder.

For the first time, they looked each other in the optics, well, optic to visor. Angry's features softened a little. They'd never felt this close before. The three Blitzwings may have been aspects of the same 'con, but they hardly knew anything about the other personalities. Cold was always so distant, and Angry always had his guard up…

And Random always had to ruin the moment.

The crazy jack-o-lantern faced Blitzwing bounced up between them "Mommy! Daddy!" He exclaimed happily, excited by the game of hide-and-seek he had started with Wasp he had come to this conclusion "I vant a little brozeh!"

Angry and Cold exchanged glances.

"I zink its time to cut zis 'family' zing." Cold said.

"For vonce, I zink I agree." Angry replied, and turned striding away from Random, Cold quickly following.

"Vhat? No baby brozeh?"

**Author's note: **I've been saving the brother joke since _Three Times a Charm_ was in its planning stages. I hope you enjoyed the chapter because if nothing else, I'm going to hell for writing this one, and I'm taking Y'all with me for reading it.

**Editor's note: **-nod nod- leave your reviews and/or suggestions for next chapter as usual, no flames. Hope you enjoy your trip to Hell. Oh and for the record, HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!


	8. Step one

**Author's note: ** Hardly any inspiration this week so this chapter is short, like very short.

**Warning: **…The usual.

**Disclaimer: **_Three Times a Charm_ is a glimpse into what I would do if I owned TFA, for more information please call 1800-ifZaeownedTFA.

Three Times a Charm

Step one

One thing that many bots overlooked about Sentinel was how stressful his job was. As an Elite Guard Commander he had to make hard decisions and he had to make them fast. Perhaps he didn't always make the right one, but his spark was always in the right place.

Right now he had to run several errands for Ultra Magnus, and be at Autobot Academy in time to congratulate the latest batch of graduates in less then a fifteen kliks. Normally such a thing wouldn't bother him so, but since his vacation his life seemed to have been put on fast-forward and he couldn't seem to keep up with the things he had gotten used to, and know he couldn't find the notes he had made for his speech.

At first he hadn't been worried; after all if things weren't on his desk then they were usually on the floor. His notes had not been. After giving the whole room a clean sweep (including checking the garbage) and still finding no trace, he started to get anxious, and after being reminded of his short schedule five times the Prime was beginning to panic.

"Where are they? Where are they, where are they, where are they Where are they?" he muttered with a fluster, "Come one, come on, come on! They didn't just grow stabilizing-servos and walk away, did they?"

Did they?

The image of his note cards growing stabilizing-servos and doing a little jig before escaping out the window only made Sentinel panic more. He fumbled through a stack of papers on his desk checking again to see if maybe they had gotten mixed up with some of his other work and the stuff he did in his occasional free time.

The Prime almost screamed with joy at the sight of his notes caught between several data pads, and began scolding himself for losing his nerve. As he started to pick up and reorganize his work he happened to look out the window, which was something Sentinel did do often. The sight he saw almost made him drop his notes at the face pressed against the glass. It lasted only a few minutes before the figure took off closely followed by two more apparently chasing the first.

Sentinel stared…and stared.

Slowly he pressed his fingers to his com-link "Ultra Magnus sir?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes, Sentinel Prime? What is it?" the Autobot leader replied.

The bot stayed quite for a minute, replaying what he had just seen in his head. "…I think I need therapy..."

Ultra Magnus had apparently been drinking a cube of energon, and the sound of it being spit out rang on his side of the communication line. "Wh-what? _Why_?"

Sentinel blinked a couple of times, unsure how to say this. "Because, either I'm going crazy… or three Blitzwings just ran by my window…"

"Blitzwings?" Ultra Magnus asked, "Isn't that the Decepticon who-"

"Yes." Sentinel replied.

"The one with the-"

"Yes."

"And you're sure you saw-"

"Yes."

There was silence for a totally of three minutes as the each weighed their options, until finally Ultra Magnus let out a sigh, "I'll set you up with an appointment."

**Step one: Admitting you have a problem and asking for assistance.**

**Author's end note: **I think I can grantee that Sentinel's going to be a likeable character at the end of this fic, if you don't like my take on him already. My editor is out of commission again so I ask you to please review and give me a few ideas. If you flame I will cry.

**Editor's note: ***is still currently out of commission*


	9. Well I’ll be…

**Author's Note: **I bet Ya'all (note that Ya'all is _my_ word, not me messing up "Y'all") are wondering how Blitzwing got to Cybertron…truth be told so am I.

**Warning: **Blitzwing, LongArm/Shockwave, Wasp, Megatron and madness that isn't howling.

**Disclaimer: **TFA only belongs to me in my wildest dreams, and my wildest dreams also include Autobot slaves in chains. But you don't need to know that.

Three Times a Charm

Well I'll be…

LongArm Prime flipped through pages of paper work, as he walked down the hallways of Autobot Academy. He was taking Sentinel Prime's place congratulating the graduates of Autobot Academy; Ultra Magnus had specifically ordered him to keep quite about the blue Prime's sudden apparent mental meltdown. He read through the notes Sentinel made, surprised at both the organization, and almost poetic content.

_Well he's certainly full of surprises I guess…I mean I never thought _he'd _be the first one to crack._

LongArm continued down the hall towards the Auditorium where the young Autobot graduates waited excitedly. He was passing under a went when he heard it.

"Psst! Shockvave!"

Hearing his real name LongArm looked up instinctively, and hearing the thick accent of scenarios (the calm monotone informed him this was 'Cold' he was talking to), a million possibilities popped into his head. All of them ending with him getting caught.

"What are you doing here!?" he hissed trying not to be too loud, incase someone heard him. "_How_ did you get here?"

There was silence for a moment, "Jou tell me. I vas following Angry, oo vas chasing Random."

It took the double agent a moment to understand what the triple-changer part was talking about. Right. According to Megatron, the three Blitzwing personalities had split. Another million scenarios run amuck in his processor. Once again, ending with him getting caught. Frag. With Blitzwing here he might as well walk into the lecture hall and Transform back into his true form in front of the graduates.

Wait.

"Are Angry and Random with you?" LongArm asked.

"Nein. Ven ve caught Random, ve vent to jour office, hoping to talk to jou, but jou vere'nt zere, zo I left Angry Pinning Random to ze vall to find jou." Cold replied.

"Why were you looking for me?" he demanded harshly, "You idiots are going to get me caught!"

"But…" Cold protested, "Ve need to get back to Eathz."

LongArm was about to open his mouth in argument, but sighed realizing that the Blitzwing personality had a point. "Have you guys been seen?" he asked.

"Juz by ze big blue Prime." The reply had a tone of worry in it. LongArm only laughed, explaining that Ultra Magnus had informed him of Sentinel being sent to therapy, and them perhaps being the reason why.

"Don't worry. Just lie low for a few hours, and when everyone's in recharge I'll open up a space bridge to get you to Earth." He planned.

"Goot, I vill tell ze ozers." There was a scraping as Cold crawled through the vent and disappeared.

LongArm shook his head, and continued down to the lecture hall.

---

Meanwhile, Earth:

Megatron was _exhausted._ He couldn't believe he had agreed to help look for Wasp, and do so without "Eating, drinking or resting 'til he was found". Primus, he felt like he was going to collapse, and no one had made any word of finding the little green convict.

The Large Decepticon glanced around. None of his soldiers were around. Five minutes wouldn't hurt, especially considering how if he continued like this he'd fall into recharge on his stabilizing-servos. With a sigh he spotted a box, and decided that a few minutes break was worth the risk of Blackarachnia's threat to lay eggs in his fuel tanks. She'd been favoring that threat lately, probably because it worked so well.

A few strides and he sat down on the box, ready to fall instantly asleep when the box suddenly yelped. Megatron jumped up at the sound and turned his fusion cannon on it. "What's this!?" he demanded.

The box shifted a little bit and a small familiar voice accompanied it. "Wasp, in a box."

Megatron sighed in relief, "Blackarachnia!" Megatron shouted, "I found 'im"

Instantly the door opened and the techno organic rushed in, glancing around looking for her little Waspinator. Megatron pointed towards the box and started to make his leave.

"Waspinator," Blackarachnia purred sweetly, "come out of the box now please." She proceeded to try and lift it up herself.

But Wasp held the box sown around him, "No, Wasp stay in box 'till Blitz-Random Find him."

"You're not actually planning to stay in there for a _week_ are you!?" She demanded.

"No." the small Decepticon replied, "Just 'till Blitz-Random finds Wasp."

The door shut, cutting off the rest of the conversation to Megatron's audios. Glad that Wasp had been found, Megatron stalked across the base to his private quarters, ready for recharge. Along the way he saw shapes and shadows move across his optics, and heard wordless whispers in his audio-sensors, a result of his lack of proper rest. At last he made it to his chambers, and laid himself down.

Madness doesn't always howl. For Megatron, it was simply a quite voice that whispered, "Hey, buddy?" The Decepticon lord grunted in acknowledgment, "Got room in your head for one more?"

Convinced that this was just a hallucination caused by his exhaustion, Megatron simply rolled over, as he answered "Feh. Sure. Whatever." He muttered.

**Author's note: **E-cookies if you understand what that last bit is implying ^^.

**Editor's Note:**


	10. Insert Witty Title

**Author's Note: **I'm surprised at the overwhelming number of people who think Shockwave is going to get caught…Damn near, I still need LongArm to be in the Elite Guard for something else I have planned, but eventually, yes, he'll probably get caught.**  
Warning: **The Blitzwings are on their way back to Earth what do you _think_ is going to happen?**  
Disclaimer: **TFA doesn't belong to me, nor does any TF continuity…Too bad right?

Three Times a Charm

Insert Witty Title

LongArm Prime slipped passed the recharge quarters of his 'fellow Elite Guard' members, back to his office where the three Blitzwings waited. He had avoided it all day lest someone wish to speak with him and discover the three 'cons hiding there. Thankfully Shockwave also had the sense to secure the windows and lock the door. After punching in his password the doors slipped silently open.

He kept his optics to the floor and waited for the 'voosh' of the doors slid shut again. The moment he looked up however-

"GAHHH!" He cried looking at the state of his office. "What did you _do_ to this place!?!"

Papers where scattered everywhere, the desk over turned, a window was crack, though through the security parapet outside no one would tell until LongArm lifted them back. There was a small fire in the corner that Cold had been trying to put out with his ice, but the Blitzwing turned around, looking both surprised and ashamed. But all this paled into comparison to the huge hole in the wall that opened the gap between LongArm's office and the one usually Occupied by Sentinel Prime, who was still out with his therapist for some reason. Sentinel Office was equally trashed,

The three Blitzwings looked at each other. "Ummm…" Random said with a hint of panic, "Made it bigger…?" he offered.

"I had nozing to do vith ziz." Cold announced raising his hands in mock surrender.

"It Vas all 'im!" Argry accused pointing at Random with a rage-shaken finger.

"Nien!" Random protested, "Jou made ze whole in ze vall!"

"Trying to git jou!"

"Shut up!" LongArm shouted transforming into his Decepticon form of Shockwave. "If you want to get back to Earth we're going to need to do now!"

The three Blitzwings silenced, Shockwave walked over to his desk and flipped it back over, and turned his computer back on, glad to see that it hadn't been damaged in the brutal assault. A holographic screen appeared and Shockwave set to work typing very quickly.

"Vhat are are jou doing?" Cold asked.

"Hacking the main frame to turn off all the security cameras," He explained, there was a beep as the computer announced the hack was complete and the double agent typed in a few more codes to time them to turn back on when the space bridge closed, "c'mon."

He lead them to the door and paused a moment before he exited to change the colors of his body in case someone saw them and recognized his paint job. He led them quickly and quietly through the halls stopping every once in a while to tell the three of them to shut up when Angry and Random started arguing with Cold getting in the middle, trying and failing to be the peace maker.

Finally they arrived at the space bridge. A few more minutes to tacking at a keyboard and Shockwave was able to open it up and set the coordinates to Earth. He was going to specify where on Earth when an alarm went off, alerting the Elite guard that four Decepticons had been spotted sneaking around the base and presumably trying to use the space bridge.

"Go now!" Shockwave ordered, "You'll have to get back to the others on your own!"

"Zanks." Cold said as he pasted. Angry merely nodded 'politely' in his direction before jumping into the massive blue field of energy that would transport him across the Universe to the nearest space bridge to Earth.

Random jumped on him happily saying good-bye, thank you, and good luck, and (unable to find his lips) placed a silly little kiss on the side of Shockwave's head before leaping off again and running after his fellow Blitzwings.

Shockwave changed form and color to LongArm Prime and was just turning off the space bridge when Rodimus Prime and his team arrived ready to defend the Autobot head quarters, followed closely by a shaking Sentinel Prime and a green femme he presumed must be his assigned therapist.

"They got away." Long Arm explained, "I think they wanted to send for reinforcements, but decided against it when they heard the alarm." He pointed to the computer, "I locked the space bridge, they won't be coming back anytime soon." He promised.

Hopefully this would be true.

Relaxing a bit but still on their guard, several of the freshly arrived bots began to leave until only the Prime's and the therapist remained. Sentinel took a step forward, "Wh-what did th-they look like? He asked shakily, the femme followed him and put a comforting hand on his arm.

LongArm paused, wondering how he should answer that. "I only saw three of them; the fourth had already escaped when I got here. The three that were left all look the same I think-"

"Was it Blitzwing!?" Sentinel demanded "Three Blitzwings!?"

LongArm was silent for several seconds before deciding that no harm could come from telling them that much of the truth. Immediately Sentinel turned back to the femme at his side. "See doc? I told you I wasn't crazy!" he said with a nervous chuckle "Thanks for the help Moonracer!" he dashed off towards the door.

"Sentinel, wait!" the femme, Moonracer as she had been identified, called out.

"I'll get him." Long Arm offered rushing after the blue Prime rolling his optics at Sentinel's immature departure.

It didn't take long to catch up with him, but convincing him to turn around and talk to Moonracer again, would be impossible, LongArm knew. So for now he decided to play it cool and just accompany Sentinel on his walk and listen to the Prime mutter to himself about not being crazy and being right the whole time. And something about a mutant burrito, but the double agent figured it was better not to ask.

A moment too late LongArm realized Sentinel was not on his way to his private quarters, but to his office, and again too late he remembered the catastrophic state of their now linked offices. He was about to tell the Elite Commander not to open the door, but it was already sliding open.

Sentinel stood in the doorway staring, completely silent as LongArm waited for five minutes for him to say something.

The Prime turned around slowly, a look of complete and utter horror on his face. "Excuse me LongArm." He said politely, but I think I need to talk to my thera-…Um, er, uh, Moonracer, I need to talk to Moonracer. Yes!" he turned down the hallway with a nervous laugh trying to cover up his completely shattered sense of security and reality.

LongArm shook his head, wonder why he was worried if Sentinel would be alright.

**Author's end note:** I don't know why I made Moonracer the therapist, it just sorta happened, but anyway I hope ya'all enjoyed the chapter. Wish Sentinel a speedy recovery.

**Editor's note:**


	11. Never ask for Directions

**Author's Note: **Well that bit with the Elite Guard was fun. One day down six to go (seriously that may have taken three chapters, but the reality is that's it's only been _one_ day).

**Warning: **With the Blitzwings heading back to Earth a whole new problem arises…Do any of them know where Detroit is located?

**Disclaimer: **I am Zaerith, and though I do not own TFA and probably never will, I saw let the funny begin!

Three Times a Charm

Never ask for Directions.

After exiting the space bridge the Decepticon triple-changer turned triple-trouble, ended up a few galaxies short of Earth, and had to fly (taking turns carrying their jet-speed retarded part) back the rest of the way. But it didn't take near as log as they had feared and they landed safely on the moon.

Stopping to rest, Angry glanced at his companions " 'Eh, 'ow long 'as it been zince ce vere kicked out?" he asked.

Cold rolled his optics " 'Aven't jou been keeping track? Itz been a total ov twenty-six hours, forty-three minutes, an' seventeen seconds."

Angry snorted, 'Vell, look whoz ze big genius!" he turned away abruptly.

Cold chuckled knowing perfectly well that this was what Angry did to hide the fact that he was impressed. But the icy personality cocked his head to the side optics narrowing, with a bigger worry then how long it had been since Megatron had kicked them out.

"Random!" He shouted to draw his crazy side over, "Angry come here, I 'ave a question."

"_Jou_ 'ave a question?" Angry teased smugly, "Ze great Cold 'as a question for _us_."

"Ve're 'is only 'ope!" Random chirped offering his servo in a mock 'high-five' he had seen humans do, which Angry accepted.

"I'm serious." Cold said flatly, and after waiting for his split personalities to stop laughing at him, sighed and asked "Do eizer ov jou _know_ vere on Earthz 'Detroit' iz, or vere all ov us juz following Lugnut ven ve first came 'ere?"

The silence that ensued was almost worth being mocked, and would have, had it not been what Cold had been fearing. Angry and Random exchanged worried looks, "Zat's ze zort ov zing jou do Cold." Random said with a tremble of fear in his voice.

"Jou _veren't _paying attention to vhere ve vere going!?!" The red-faced Blitzwing accused, masking his own panic with a fuming rage.

Cold rolled his optics again, "Great, none ov us know how to return to ze base evem if ve vere allowed or requested to, and I don zink ze ozers vould appreciate it if ve call an' ask for directions."

"Nevah ask for directions!" Angry fumed "Itz bad luck!"

"Ve're already 'aving bad luck." He pointed out.

"VE'RE LOST!" Random whined and put on a spectacle of crying like and Earth child. Both of them ignored him, causing Random to pout, sit down with his arms and legs crossed waiting for inspiration to come which would put him back in the center of attention which he felt he should always be. After a few minutes of watching his other personalities fight he began to draw in the moon dust, until becoming bored and deciding, hey you only live once (Ubless of course you were Starscream). "I'm going to Vegas!" he announced giddily, transforming into Jet mode and taking off without anymore warning or even thinking about how he had about as much an idea of were Vegas was as he did Detroit."

"Random!" Cold shouted after him, transforming as well and allowing Angry to hope on "Vait! Git back 'ere"

"Na na na na na na! Jou can't catch meeeeeeeeeeh!" Random teased as he entered the lower atmosphere, caring little if this was where he wanted to be or not. At last spotting ground he transformed again and landed in bipedal mode. Before him were a bunch of humans who all stopped what they were doing to stare at the sudden arrival. Behind him, he heard the unmistakable sound of Cold catching up. " 'Ello humans, I come in peace!" Primus, he'd always wanted to say that, meaning it was something else entirely, but he'd always wanted to say it.

"Vhat is vrong vith jou!?" Angry shouted rapping him upside the head.

"Angry…" Cold said calmly, tapping his shoulder, then pointing to the crowd of gathering humans.

There was dead silence for a few minutes before one came up and without hesitating said, "Guten Tag"

Cold looked at Angry "I zink itz safe to say ve aren't in Detroit."

--

Meanwhile, Starscream received the call from Shockwave, AKA 'LongArm Prime' informing the other Decepticons about the close call with the Blitzwings. Shockwave asked to speak to Megatron, but Starscream relayed Megatron's fifty-foot-radius threat and cut the communication before there could be further argument.

Primus did he _hate_ Shockwave, always had and always would.

Starscream stretched and got up. While Megatron was out of it the seeker was in charge; but with the Blitzwings gone, no Megatron for Lugnut and Soundwave to fight over, and Wasp still hiding in a box, there was practically nothing to do. He couldn't believe this but Starscream was _bored_ being the leader.

The seeker turned a corner and ran into…Megatron?

"Megatron sir!" he saluted in spite of himself, "I thought you were recharging."

There was no response for a moment; Starscream glanced up into the Decepticon Leader's face. His jaw dropped a little bit, and his optics narrowed in confusion. Something wasn't right about him, the seeker didn't know what, but something was _off_.

Finally the bigger 'con answered. "Megatron _is_ recharging."

With that he turned away, stalking down the halls and glancing down every crossroad as if seeing them for the first time.

A chill ran through Starscream. "Okaaaaay…freaky…" he said to himself. "What's his malfunction?"

That is the Question indeed.

**Author's end note: **No comment too tired…zzzz


	12. Language Barriers

**Author's Note: **I apologize for the lack of updating last week. I had no inspiration to write whatsoever and then I got sick so I _couldn't_ write, however while I was sick I got plenty of ideas. Enjoy^^

**Warning: **They may have the accent, but the Blitzwings can't actually _speak_ German XD. What's wrong with Megatron…?**  
Declaimer: **Fanfiction provides a nice little happy place where I can live in the delusion that I own TFA and each chapter or so of this fic is an episode.

Three Times a Charm

Language Barriers

Cold rested his face in his palm, listening to the incoherent babble of the natives. He didn't get it, they _looked_ like the people of Detroit, albeit with a few physical differences, but none of them spoke Cybertronian.

Suddenly that made Cold wonder how exactly the humans in Detroit knew their language. He'd have to investigate further later. But for now…

" 'Urry up vill jou!" Angry steamed, "Ve caun't be 'ere all day, ve vant to get back in visual contact vith ze base sometime zis stellar cycle!"

The icy personality shot a look at his fiery counterpart. "Jou know, instead ov vandering around making hot air, jou could help vith verbalizing."

Angry snorted, "Bah! I dun talk, I crush! Jus get a download ov ze language and be don!"

Cold stood up and paced over to Angry, shoving his shoulder in an irritated manner. "Do jou know vhere a computer iz zat I can download _any_ language!? I dun even know vhat language zis is!" He stated simply with tad of annoyed aggression.

Angry pushed him back in a less friendly matter, "Jou vant to start somezing!?" He snarled, "Bring it! I'll tear jour circuits out ov jour hard drive and shove zem up jour fuel tanks!"  
"Ve dun have time for-"

"Circus!?" A small human female exclaimed. "I vanna go to ze circus!"

The two robots stopped glaring at each other for one moment to glance at the little girl, then back at each other, rolling their optics, "Jus lik random…" Cold sighed, then an important factor hit him, he whirled back to the little girl and got on his knees to better talk to her, "Jou speak Cybertronian?"

The child cocked her head and hugged her teddy bear closer to her, sucking on her lolly pop. Removing the candy she replied, "I speak English vith muma."

"Goot enough!" Cold decreed, "Can jou do me a favor? Vhere are ve?"

"Germany!" The girl chirped proudly.

"Ahh…" Cold sighed looking back up at Angry.

'Vhere?' the other Blitzwing mouthed.

'I 'ave no idea.' He mouthed back. Turning once again to the little girl he made a noise similar to a man clearing his throat and asked, "Do jou know how to get to Detroit?"

On the ground the child licked her candy with a confused face. "Jus a second!" She announced and ran off toward an older human and began chattering with him in their strange language, and came back a few minutes later, "Vich Detroit?" she asked.

"Zere's more zan von!?" Angry exclaimed infuriated.

Cold silenced him with a look, "Ze von vith Sumdac Tower." He answered.

The girl nodded and ran back to the older man, then back again. "He says Vest, in ze United States, by ze grate lakez. If jou reach ze Pacific Ocean, jou've got too far."

"Zank jou." Cold said, nodding his head politely. He stood up and approached Angry. "Vell, I know how to get back. Shall ve go?"

"Ze soonah ze bettah! I dun know 'ow much longah I can last listening to zese freaks!" He growled, waiting for Cold to transform so he could climb on for a ride since he had a distinct lack of a jet-mode. "Vell, come on!" He demanded.

"Vait." Cold cautioned glancing around. "Vhere's Random?"

" 'e's right over…" Angry turned around to where he'd last seen their crazy third, only to find an empty space. "Slag it vhere'd zat glitcher go now!? Caun't take jour optics off 'im for von zecond!"

Cold sighed, "I zought it 'ad gotten quiet…" He opened their shared private link, "Random? Vhere are jou?"  
The line was silent but for the sound of static and the crinkle of someone trying and failing to hold back laughter, "Bonjour!" Random answered at last.

"Vhere are jou?" Cold repeated.

"Paris." Random giggled, "It's so pretty! It took sometime to get 'ere from Germany, but it vas so vorth it!"

"Jou knew vhere ve vere!?" Angry snarled.

"Jou left vithout us!?" Cold added with almost as much fury.

The only reply was a long cackle and a sing-song of "Vhere in ze vorld iz; Blitzving Random!"

--

Megatron woke up suddenly, like a sudden snap, only to find he wasn't where he had fallen into recharge. He was standing outside the throne room, hand on the keypad as if typing an identification to get in. Strange. Had he been sleepwalking? He'd heard that could be a symptom of stress.

Shaking his head he decided to think nothing of it, instead he finished typing in his password and entered the throne room. He started towards the chair, intending to go back to recharge, but something caught his attention.

Bite marks, all over his throne.

And he had no explanation of why or how they had gotten there.

_Hello. Welcome to the land of the living_. Megatron whirled around. He could have sworn he'd just heard a voice. He saw nothing, but his audios picked up the distinct sound of laughter. A laugh that sounded almost identical to his own.

"Who's there!?" He demanded.

_Turn around._ The voice told him.

He did so, across the room there was a mirror, but in it was not his reflection. The Mech did look like him however, prompting the tyrant to ask, "Who are you?"

His 'reflection' chuckled. _Name's Galvatron_, _I'm you, _he answered, _Consider yourself Dr. __Jeckyll __and me Mr. Hyde._

Megatron stare at his other self for a moment. "Great." He said with less surprise than would be expected, "Well Galvatron, now that I've officially cracked, I'd like to got back to recharge and pretend you don't exist."

_And I you._ Galvatron retorted smugly. _Nighty-night._

"Slag off."

**Author's End note: **I'm actually sorta disappointed that most of you didn't get that this was supposed to be the birth of Galvatron, I tried to make it clear without giving it away entirely, guess I failed. Aw well, no use crying over spilled milk. I need your guys' help for next chapter, I'm planning another Christmas special, but since I won't have a computer after next week I'll have to post it early. Please leave some suggestions, remembering that Random is currently in France, Angry and Cold are going after him, Megatron has his own split personality and the other Decepticons are none the wiser. Ideas are appreciated!


	13. Christmas Special

**Author's Note: **After a full week of looking at suggestions, thinking hard about, and worrying about ice storms (Thank you very much northwest weather! -pout-) this is what I have for the _Three Times a Charm_ Christmas special, hope you enjoy ^^ I'm in the Christmas spirit do to listening to The _Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24_ AKA the most epic version of _Carol of the Bells_ I have ever heard. If you have not heard this song, I highly recommend it.

**Warning: **Christmas, Santa, a little bit of mistletoe, slight selfcest (AngryxCold)

**Disclaimer: **Still haven't gotten that reply from Santa.

Three Times a Charm

Christmas Around the World

Angry and Cold made it to Paris. Only to find out Random was no longer there. The little glitch-head had taken off again, this time to Romania 'birth place of Dracula', even though Cold had pointed out that Dracula was a fictional character thus not ever born and that technically he would have been born in "Transylvania". Which Random argued had become Romania. Angry shut them both up by reminding them both that Dracula had been inspired by the real human know as "Vlad the Impaler" and if they didn't cut the arguing out he'd do some impaling of his own.

Back to the point, Cold and Angry took to the air again, the red-faced Blitzwing seriously regretting his decision to scan the assault tank rather than the fighter jet. "How much longah!?!" he demanded.

"Zree minutes." Cold replied, "Zat is if 'e did not leave again."

Which he did.

While Angry and Cold flew to Romania dear Random had absconded back to Germany. The third part of their personality cackled delightedly at his little game of tag while the other two made promises to hold each other back so they didn't kill him when they caught their crazy counterpart.

Flying back to Germany the unexpected happened, which the two of them should have learned to _expect, _but then it wouldn't be the unexpected would it?

"Fly Lowah!" Angry roared, "I caun't see a zing in zis! Git out ov ze clouds!"

"Vhat!?" Cold shouted back "I caun't hear jou!"

"Jou're inzane! Git out of zis cloud!"

"Vhat!?"  
"LOOK OUT!!!"

They hit something. Angry fell off and landed hard on the earth and snow below. Just as he was coming to his senses Cold landed on top of him. "Lord Megatron… Ze Autobotz have stolen ze lost egg cartoon, zhall ve set phazers to delicious?" he mumbled disoriented.

"Git OVV jou iron-brained idiot!!!" Angry howled, "Jour crushing me!"

"Zureee…" Cold purred, "I'll 'old jour hand…" At this the hotheaded Blitzwing rolled his optics under his visor and hit the icy one on his head to clear him up. Cold shook his head and climbed off his double, had he been organic he would have been blushing, but Angry didn't register this fact or what it could possibly mean.

"Vhat ze _SLAG_ did jou run into jou copper-vired klutz!?" The tank demanded.

"I-I dun know." Cold stuttered, "I-I zink it landed o-vah zere."

"Quit jour bumbling! Let's take a look!"

The two Blitzwings took a few steps toward the fallen object they had collided with. A sleigh? Small wrapped boxes were scattered across the snow, and strange footprints danced in several directions, before vanishing without a trace, as if running up into the sky. The two of them exchanged glances "It caun't be vhat it lookz like…" Cold reassured.

It was.

"Dasher! Dancer! Prancer! Vixen! Comet! Cupid! Donner! Blitzen!" A voice shouted, "Come back here!"

The Blitzwings looked in the direction of the voice. There, a fat old man in a red fur coat stood, holding the reins of a tall proud, but injured reindeer. A reindeer with a red nose. Angry and Cold glanced at each other again, "Did I go into stasis vhen ve crashed?" Cold asked.

"Maybe _jou_ did, but usually I dream about zings zat are _vay_ less appropriate." Angry replied, "Zen vhat happened to me?"

Cold leaned over, "Jou do have some cranial damage."

"Excuse me!" They glanced down again to the man who now addressed them, "I'm sorry about the crash, but could you help me? I've got hundreds of toys to deliver and eight reindeer in heat to catch!"

Angry glowered down at him, "Excuse _me_, but ve 'ave our own problemz!"

"Yes, yes I know, like catching your third member…what do you call him? Chance?" The man replied stroking his beard, and, ignoring their astonished looks, continued, "Yes, yes I know, but please, if you help me, I'll help you find him."

Angry was about to protest when Cold stepped forward, "We'd be delighted to help." He said, then turned back to his fuming partner, "Do jou vant to spend another veek going around ze vorld on a vild gooze chase? Ve need all ze help ve can get to catch 'im."

Slowly Angry nodded, he still wanted to protest and blast the jolly old elf to Kingdom Come, but Cold had brought up a good point. "Vhat do jou vant us to do?" he growled.

Santa Claus wandered over to his sleigh and took out a big bag, then picked up the scattered presents, "Take these, and deliver them to boys and girls around the world." He pulled a piece of paper out of his coat, "This is the naughty list."

" 'ow vill ve know vhat prezentz to give vhich human?" Cold asked ever thorough.

"Rudolf will help you." Santa told them, pulling the reins gently, the reindeer limped forward, "Won't you, girl?"

"GIRL!?" Angry, "I zought ze reideer vere all male!!!"

"Actually, ze males of ze species drop ze antlers zis time ov year. It makes sense zat Ze are all female." Cold pointed out.

"But Rudolf is a _boy_ name!!!" Angry insisted.

"It's short for Rudolfia." A distinctively female voice replied. The reindeer suddenly stood up on her hind quarters and began to change; the robots looked on in complete shock as the reindeer became _human_. Or at least partly human, she still bore her antlers with pride, and wore reindeer fur cloths, and long brown hair that matched the coat. "I'll put the presents in the house; you just take me to each of them." She noticed them staring, "Magic." She said with a wink.

Santa reached into his pocket and pulled out a sparkling powder which he blew onto the Blitzwings. "There, you two now have all the time you need, now go please, I'll get the other girls and catch up when I can."

--

Much later: Detroit

Sari and her father were spending Christmas with their friends the Autobots, making oil and eggnog, sharing Christmas stories and gifts. It was a night of laughs and fun, but they couldn't stay up forever, already Bulk-head, Bumblebee and Ratchet had fallen into recharge, Prowl was trying to, only Optimus was wide awake, talking to professor Sumdac as he describe the Christmas he'd had as the Decepticon's prisoner.

Sari sat at the window, looking out excitedly. Her father chuckled, "Oh, Sari, you know Santa won't come if you're awake waiting for him, and he knows when you are…"

Sari turned around with a smile, "I know Dad, but I'm not waiting for Santa." She said turning back to the window, "I'm waiting for Blitzwing!"

Isaac's jaw dropped, Optimus slapped his servo to his face, "Sari, I don't think he's coming back this year," the fire truck told her gently.

Sari turned around glaring at him with tears in her eyes, "He'll come! I know he will!" She shouted defiantly and turned back to the window, refusing to talk to either one of them.

Suddenly there was a strange noise. The three of them turned around. From nowhere, a fireplace magically appeared, and from that fireplace emerged a strange antlered woman who jumped at the sight of them. "Oh shit! You're still awake!" she cried dropping the big bag she carried. "Ummm, okay, uh I'm not here, you're all just dreaming! I'll be gone in a few minutes! Just turn around, and pretend I don't exist, because I don't- Oohhh! Carrots!" The woman dove for the orange vegetables and chomped down. A moment later she picked up her bag and started pulling gifts out like magic.

Finally she turned back to the unexplained fireplace, but stopped dead, turned around, waved her hands and two cans of the eggnog fermented oil floated towards her. "You don't mind do you?" She asked, "The Blitzwings will probably love this stuff."

"I…um…What? Blitzwing?" Optimus mumbled.

"Told'ya." Sari piped sticking her tongue out.

"Oops, gotta go!" The stranger gasped, "See'ya!" She ran towards the fire place, the cans of oil following.

And like that; the woman, the oil, and the fire place were gone. Sari ran back over to the window in time to see a fighter jet caring another Blitzwing and the mysterious stranger fly past. "Merry Christmas!" She shouted out and waved.

Optimus and Isaac exchanged glances; neither had ever been so confused.

--

Megatron awoke once again not where he had fallen into recharge, remembering the 'Galvatron' incident, he decided it was best not to make a scene of it, lest Starscream try to use his 'insanity' as leverage to take over the Decepticons.

_Good plan_. Galvatron encouraged.

"Just leave me alone." Megatron muttered.

_But I'll get bored, and you know what happens when _you_ get bored, trust me, I'll be worse._

"Whatever."

_Oh, one more thing-_

A small pink thing suddenly appeared in front of his face, "Merry Christmas Megatron!" Professor Princess cried happily, kissing him on the brim of his nose.

"What the-!?!" Megatron demanded, _who let her in!?!_

_ I did._ Galvatron confessed, _Christmas was really fun, they asked if they could join us again, and I agreed._

_ Christmas was_ not_ fun, I want them out of my base_! Megatron thought back angrily.

_Liar. I'm you, remember? Sure somethings were annoying, but overall you actually liked it! And the humans!'_

_ Did not!_

_ Did too!_

_ Did not!_

_ Did!_

_ Didn't!_

_ Did!_

_ Is this what its like to be Blitzwing!?!_ Megatron howled silently.

_Probably-watch out for the mistletoe._

Megatron made a 180 degree turn to avoid the horrible tradition. "This is going to be the worst Christmas ever." He groaned.

"Wanna bet?" Megatron turned around, he knew that voice.

"Swindle?" he muttered in disbelief.

_I invited him too. Admit it you missed him._

Swindle gave a polite bow, "I brought you a little something," he stepped aside to reveal a robot-sized, fully plugged in Dance Dance Revolution set. "I hope you like it."

Megatron stopped and stared, _You missed this too._ Galvatron purred.

"That I won't deny." He muttered.

"What?" Swindle asked, Megatron didn't reply, he was already turning the game on.

--

At last the presents were delivered, Rudolf ordered them in the direction of the North Pole, where she said Santa had caught the other reindeer and had Random. Relieved Cold sped up, almost knocking Angry off him and Rudolf with him. "This was fun!" She piped, "Wanna do it again nest year?"

"No." They replied instantly.

"Awww…."

Arriving at the work shop, Rudolf climbed down and changed back into her reindeer form, she gave a bellow of welcoming to her fellow reindeer and Santa, as they entered with a miserable looking Random in tow, tied up with enchanted tinsel. Angry and Cold glanced at each other, hopping to keep him that way.

However when Random looked up, his usual grin spread across his face. "Ooooohhhh! Angry, Cold, look vhat joooooouuuuuur standing undah!" he cackled.

Horrified Angry and Cold glanced up to see the mistletoe. Everyone stayed where they were waiting and watching to see them kiss as tradition demanded. Shyly Cold leaned over, and placed his lips against Angry's. For a brief pleasant moment neither moved until Angry shoved Cold to the floor, spiting in disgust, and dashing away from the mistletoe.

Santa gave a Jolly laugh. "Thank you boys, I can't tell you how much this helped. Would you like some energon?"

Cold looked at him from his place on the ground, "Jou 'ave energon? 'ow"

"Magic!" A Christmas elf sang. "Santa's got everything!"

The Blitzwings looked at each other, okay, one cube of energon, and then they were outta there. Unfortunately for the North Pole one energon cube lead to another, and by morning half the shop was on fire and the other half was a giant ice ring.

And it wasn't Random's fault.

**Author's end note: **Merry Christmas, reviews are the best gifts of all ^^ please wish my sister/editor well.


	14. Snow Day!

**Author's Note:** Hope everyone had happy holidays ^^. This week's chapter is inspired by the 'surprise snowstorm' we had up in Washington. I say 'surprise' because I think the weather people knew we were going to get it, but wanted to see us suffer so didn't mention it until four hours before it began.

**Warning: **Snow, and giggles. Light UST between Angry and Cold.

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, and I can control the weather too. Tomorrow, Ya'all are going to wake up to sunshine with a chance of an ice cream storm. *Whacks self*

Three Times a Charm

Snow Day!

Angry wasn't sure at first of what he was holding, but to be sure, it was nice and cuddly. He pulled it closer without thinking, only to hear it sudden squawk in protest. Immediately his optics came online, and at the same time a surprised holler escaped his vocals as he dropped Cold and scooted away.

Cold too, yelped and put distance between them, then bucked over clutching his head like it was in pain. Hangovers were something Angry was accustom to; Cold, not so much. Their misadventure in the North Pole seemed little more then a crazy dream brought about by the high grade.

Speaking of the North Pole, Angry glanced around, positive at first that they were still there, but after a while realized they weren't. A blanket of snow that was still falling was what had confused him at first, but he noticed familiar trees.

"Cold," he whispered, remembering that the icy personality didn't take too well too the high grade, "Cold, look, ve're back in Detroit."

The blue-faced Blitzwing looked up. Indeed, the lake with their base was only a few miles from here. He realized of course that with all their troubles recently, they had finally gotten most of their week's banishment over with. This was their last day, and then they could return.

That is if no one tried to sneak in.

"Vhere's Random!?" Cold inquired suddenly. The unsystematic and crazy Blitzwing _liked_ not being stuck in the base, somehow Cold doubted that Random wouldn't take this chance to get them kicked out for another week.

Angry understood Cold's concern immediately. He looked around, trying to find any trace of their third part. Nothing. He opened their shared link. "Random?"

"BEHIND JOU!"

Random jumped on Angry hugging him happily and kissing his cheek. He then jumped off and did the same to Cold who cried out when the movement gave him a bad headache caused by the remnants of his hangover.

Angry rolled his optics under his visor. It was too early to deal with this. He stretched and lay back in the snow. Random leaned over him with a grin. "Jou aren't mad at me?" He asked.

"Yes, but not enof to get up." Angry answered truthfully, the snow drifted lazily onto him, the white flakes seemed to calm him down. Cold crawled over and gave him a concerned look.

"Jou? Not mad enof to get up?" Cold put a hand on him, "Did jou catch a virus? Are jou malfunctioning?"

The tone of worry in Cold's voice was comforting to Angry, but at the same time made him slightly nervous, as they looked each other optic to visor.

"Aren't you two just adorable?"

That made Angry jump up, knocking Cold down into the snow.

"Svindle!" Random cried happily jumping up to greet his recent partner in mischief. The Blitzwing looked him over, noting that Swindle was wearing the Santa hat that he had made the year before, which he himself had worn.

"You missed Christmas." Swindle smiled, "But don't worry I saved you guys a little something." The bot winked, and reached into his storage to pull out several rare upgrades. "Normally I'd charge a bundle for these, but you get them for a massive discount!"

"I zought jou said jou 'saved'zem for us?" Cold asked as he approached.

Swindle laughed, "Yeah, but its not Christmas anymore, I can't be giving these babies up for free anymore." Angry punched him, "Ow! Okay you can have them for free!"

"Blitzwing!"  
The three turned to see more Decepticons approaching. Blackarachnia clutched herself, trying to shield her organic parts from the chilly air; Starscream had a smirk on his face and a snowball in hand. Frenzy and Rumble darted around, watching their footprints disappear in the falling snow. Lugnut and Soundwave stood on either side of Megatron who grumbled angrily, and looked as if he was trying the melt the snow with sheer will power.

"Welcome back." Starscream greeted.

"Ve aren't allowed back in ze base 'til tomorrow." Cold replied.

"True," Blackarachnia said shivering, Bbut you haven't been in town all week."

"Shock-bot called an' told Decepticons what happened on Cybertron." Came a muffled voice behind them. Random burst out laughing, when he saw Wasp approaching still in the cardboard box he had hidden in a week ago. Only it was no longer just a cardboard box.

Over the last week Wasp had gotten bored waiting for Blitzwing to find him, and gathered stuff to add to his little Cardboard hideout. The single box he had originally hidden in now had extra boxes duct-tapped to it, wheels and supplies. Around the base it had started to become known as 'Wasp's moving fortress.'

"Found jou!" Random chirped running over and hugging the little green bot. "My turn to hide!" he cried and took off toward the trees. Wasp ducked into his fortress and started to count.

"Hey!" Starscream shouted "We aren't playing!" He gave a frustrated cry when Random ignored him and chucked the snowball he carried in his direction, hitting the Blitzwing in the shoulder. Angry roared at Starscream, Cold buried his face in a servo.

"Jou shouldn't 'ave done zat." Cold sighed. Just as Starscream was going to ask why a big snowball came and hit him in the face. Random's trilling laughter echoed back to them.

"Why you-" Starscream dived down and balled up more snow. "Nobody humiliates _Starscream_! Take that!"

Snowballs started to fly between the two of them, Rumble and Frenzy followed suit. Wasp stopped counting at thirty six and crawled out of his box to join. Lugnut and Soundwave started hurtling snowballs at each other as well, but in a less friendly manner than most others. A voice rang out across the snow.

"SPIDER-LADY~!"

Blackarachnia groaned. Of course the ice made it possible for Grimlock to escape Dinobot island and coming looking for his 'love'. She shivered violently, ducking behind Angry and Cold, then announce she was going back to the base, dragging the two Blitzwings back with her as shields against Grimlock's eye line.

Megatron turned in their direction. "Me too." He hated the snow. During his time stuck in Sumdac's lab, his body had been exposed to the elements, and it made him uncomfortable to think about. Not only that, he had a feeling that sometime, in a previous life perhaps, he had run afoul of the cold wet stuff before.

_Don't you want to play?_

Oh right. Galvatron was also a problem. "No." If there was one thing Megatron had figured out about this other him it was that Galvatron was less restrained and more impulsive than he was. It took all his will power to keep him under control in front of the others. "I want to get a perfect score." He said, meaning his dance game.

-_Pffft-_

Silence. Utter silence. A rogue snowball had flown across the field, where newly arrived Dinobots had joined the game, and hit Megatron in the back of the head. The Decepticon leader remained perfectly still, before slowly turning around. He half expected to see the snow around him melting with his fury. The robots throwing snow had all stopped and stared in horror as they waited to find out what would happened. The Decepticons all pointed to Grimlock, he and his Dinobots pointed at Starscream

Too bad they were out voted.

Galvatron, not Megatron, dived at the t-rex, driving him into the snow and shoving handfuls of it into Grimlock's mouth, then rolling him up into a large a large snowball and pushed him down the hill towards Blackarachnia and her unwilling body guards. The other Dinobots got the same treatment when they tried to avenge their apparent leader.

Done with that Galvatron turned back to the Decepticons who whimpered and backed away from his fury, even Starscream retreated. Megatron tried to take control again, but once again, Galvatron made an impulse decision to pick up a handful of snow, ball it up and throw it at Starscream. The games began again. Galvatron wanted to play, and Megatron couldn't argue.

A piercing screech came from below. "GET AWAY GRIMLOCK YOU MORON!"  
"BUT SPIDER-LADY! ME GRIMLOCK _LOVE_ YOU!~~^^"

For now the Decepticons thought it wasn't important to separate them and returned to their game. Angry and Cold, unfortunately had to get in between, and while Blackarachnia escaped to the base, the two of them chased the Dinobots back to their island, and eventually collapsed in the snow, snuggled close. It was pure chance that Slo-mo walked by with her camera.

Or was it?

**Author's end note: ** I think I can safely say writing the Dinobots in was my favorite part of this one. Followed by Angry and Cold obvious UST. Please review.

**Editor's note: **Also, Megatron's hatred of snow is based off our experiences, and the "previous life" in which he had run afoul of the snow is actually the alternate reality of Movieverse where Megatron was frozen in the Artic. Please review and if you have any suggestions, please tell us. Flames will be put out with the neighborhood fire hydrant.


	15. Secrets and LIES!

**Author's Note: **And more fun with Sentinel's therapy.**  
Warning: **Drunk Autobot(s) 'nuff said.

**Disclaimer: **Operation 'take over Hasbro' has been put on hold, talk amongst yourselves.

Three Times a Charm

Secrets and LIES!

LongArm Prime removed his Autobot insignia and slid it into a drawer, if he was going out into town, nobody needed to know his allegiance, especially since he didn't plan on going as 'LongArm'.

With the sudden lack of their usual commander, the twins Jetfire and Jetstorm jumped from Prime to Prime, and most wondered how Sentinel put up with them, considering his no-nonsense approach, and their talent for trouble. Last week LongArm had to deal with them following him everywhere, pestering him with questions about the intelligence branch. And then they found out that he too had been trained by Sentinel, and they then wanted to know what 'their' Prime had been like when he was a Minor.

Augh.

Finally they had decided that LongArm was no fun and moved on. Now, he just wanted to get somewhere far away from the twins or any member of the Elite Guard, return to his true form (Which he hadn't been able to do recently), and drink his weight in high-grade. The Decepticon-in-disguise, glanced around at the many Energon bars in the town, trying to find one that would least likely have an off-duty officer who, like him, needed to unwind.

'_The Bowls of Hell'_.

That would look about as inviting as a Decepticon stronghold to an Autobot. LongArm thought he had scored; slip in get into a back room, transform and let Shockwave be Shockwave. That was his plan. Unfortunately as he entered the first thing he saw was a small green femme and an large blue mech. Grimacing, the double agent tried to get back out and find another bar, but too late he was noticed.

"LongArm! Hey LongArm!" The femme shouted. He turned back around and saw her waving for him to join them, heaving an inner sigh he complied.

As he approached, Sentinel lifted his empty cube "Can I get another one?" His voice was slightly slurred, and his body wavered.

"And for me," Moonracer added, "And him, I'll buy." LongArm flinched, now that he'd been invited to drink there was no chance of getting out. Guess he'd have to get drunk and skip letting Shockwave be Shockwave,

"So…" he said as the bar tender came up with three energon cubes, "What's going on now, are you two dating?"

"No!" Sentinel said flatly, then turned and politely patted the femmes head, "No offense to you of course, yer very pretty, and very nice, it's just me."

Moonracer giggled, "Actually, this is therapy."

LongArm raised an optic ridge as he lifted the cube handed to him to his lips. "Looks like fun. What kind of exercise involves alcohol?"

Moonracer giggled again, "Actually, I was trying to get him to relax so he'll talk to me about his past. Actually, he's very sensitive."

"Hhmmm…" LongArm replied, "And how's that working out?"

"Actually, not very well." The therapist answered.

"Is 'actually' your favorite word?"

"Actually, it is!"

"Great." LongArm rolled his optics, and chugged the rest of his cube, quickly asking for another, the sooner he was drunk the better.

"'Racer," Sentinel groaned, "I dun wanna talk no-more…can we go home?"

The green femme shook her head, "Nu-uh." She told him, then turned back to LongArm, "He's had four high-grades and two unleaded, and this is what I've got so far:" She mock cleared her throat and did her best imitation of Sentinel. "Never shoulda left Cybertron, shoulda never told them ta go on without me…Shoulda listened ta Optamis…Awww Oppie, great kid ^^, I miss him so much! But I caunt tellim that he'll think itz a lie."

"Secrets and lies!" He thumped his head against the table for a little bit, Moonracer called for another drink. "Are you trying to get me drunk?" he groaned.

The bartender came up again, "What's going on here, you two on a date?"

Moonracer shook her head "Here to relax and tell me about himself, but he won't do that if he thinks he has to impress people. So I figured getting him blasted would be a good place to start."

"So you _are_ trying to get me drunk." Sentinel muttered, he grumbled incoherently for a moment before putting a hand on the Femme's shoulder "Your really nice 'racer but you see, I had this girlfriend once, I thought she was dead until a couple of Deca-cycles ago, turns out she was just mutated into this Black half-organic Arachnia."

LongArm called for his fourth drink, since he was really a Decepticon his tolerance for high-grade was, well, higher, than the average Autobots, and he was barely feeling the affects. _Black half-organic Arachnia?_ There was a light going on, but the spy wasn't sure what room it was in.

Moonracer poked him, she had a notebook out and was apparently not as drunk as she'd been acting, "See this is exactly what I need." She turned back to Sentinel "So what else happened to her, how'd you find out she was alive?"

Sentinel put up a finger to indicate that he wanted a moment of silence so he could take another drink, then using his hands as much as his mouth explained "I's gots captured by some D-con's on Earth, me Blurrrrr, and Jass both. -hiccup-. She was one of de Cons sent to inter…integrate- _interrogate_ us."

"I see." The therapist jotted this information in her notebook.

Sentinel leaned in close to both of them, "Can you two keep a secret?"

Moonracer glanced at LongArm, "Sure." They answered, LongArm was hoping that by the time he woke up the next day he wouldn't remember what this secret was.

The Elite Guard commander glanced around as if making sure no one was eavesdropping, "I- I think I'm still in love with her." Moonracer jotted this down, and refused a drink when offered one by the barkeep, LongArm took it instead, "When the Decepticons came to get that Blitz-brat guy, I handed the key right over to 'er… an' I told 'er where he was without thinking!" he continued.

For once, Moonracer looked shocked "You what?"

LongArm merely rolled his optics "Somehow I'm not surprised." _Idiot _he added mentally.

The Commander glanced around nervously, "Is it okay to do things like that for the people you love?... I still love 'lita…" He stared at them with begging optics, "Promise you won't tell anyone." Before either could so much as blink, Sentinel stood up on his chair and loudly announced "Now hear this! **I**, Sentinel Prime, Elite Guard Commander of the Autobots, and **right hand mech** to Ultra Magnus **himself**, am _madly in love_ with a _Decepticon_!

The small crowd of 'bots gathered in the bar cheered and gave a round of applause for the intoxicated Autobot, but did not appear to take his proclamation seriously. Sentinel attempted a bow to his audience, but lost his balance and decided it was safer just to sit back down.

He then turned to his companions, "So, do ya guys promise? Ya won't tell anybody about dis?"

The therapist and the spy exchanged amused looks, both still sober enough to know what exactly had just occurred, and as Moonracer wrote this down LongArm answered for both of them "Yes Sentinel, we promise we won't tell _anyone_."

**Author's end note: **I don't know about anyone else, but I LIKE Sentinel x Blackarachnia, they will be implied a little bit more in this fic than in DBTB, however, they are not going to be one of the main focus 'pairing' (That's AngryxCold maybe MegaOP-whistles innocently-) please review, people have been lacking to do that recently.

**Editor's Note: **Reviews are what keep her alive, so please, leave one so that she may live to write another day. NO FLAMES.


	16. Around the base…

**Author's note: **I thought it'd be fun to swap perspectives from the robots to the humans, thus we now have this chapter. Enjoy.

**Warning: **Humans, Dinobots, DDR, UST, chaos.

**Disclaimer: **I'd probably be closer to owning the humans than the robots, but why settle for the humans when I _want_ the robots? The hunt is _on_.

Three Times a Charm

Around the base…

The Angry Archer found himself with little to do other then baby-sit Professor Princess, and dumped her on the next passing sentient being as soon as he got the chance. That next sentient being happened to be one of the recently arrived Dinobots, 'Swoop' if the robot had meant it, was his name. So now the Archer finally had time to really look around this new base of the Decepticons.

The security was amazing, and having it underwater was a wonderful touch, the police would never find them if he convinced the others to join him in an all out raid of Detroit. He paused to think for a moment. When did Detroit become so full of weirdoes in costume? He remembered when he was a lad he'd always wanted to be the next Robin Hood, but the unpredictability's of life had forced him to turn to crime rather then prevent it. He's first donned the costumed villain, and he had done a magnificent job at it until the Autobots had shown up. Then all these others had arrived.

As the Angry Archer walked he continued thinking along these lines and at last came to the conclusion that he should sue the other humans in this base for stealing his idea.

The man stopped at a doorway and peered inside to see Wasp and Blitzwing (The one they'd been referring to as Random) huddled close looking over a sheet of paper. The Blitzwing pointed a finger at something on the paper and with a giggle said "An' zis is vhere jou come in!"

"Waspinator gets to dump it?" The green bot inquired with a hopeful look in his purple optics.

Random nodded enthusiastically, "Ven in doubt, my youn' app'rentice," He said, _trying_ to mimic The Emperor from Star Wars as he spoke, "Glitter makes _everything_ funny."

Wasp clapped and they both burst into giggles. The Angry Archer wasn't sure what that was about, but he didn't want to be part of it so he moved on with every intention of getting out of the base as soon as he found the exit again.

He stopped again at another room where he saw the other two Dinobots and the Spider Blackarachnia. The Archer suppressed a laugh as Grimlock tried reciting Shakespeare to the techno-organic, he'd suggested it, but he hadn't meant for him to take it seriously. The man was slightly offended by Grimlock's poor rendition of Romeo's confession of love to Juliet. The Spider-bot only crawled further up the wall to get away from the T-Rex.

The other Dinobot, Snarl, transformed out of his mode as a triceratops and looked up and down the wall before running at it and trying to crawl up it as Blackarachnia had. Unfortunately, Snarl was no Spider-man, and only ended up falling back down on his aft. Blackarachnia hissed at Grimlock and told him to get lost, it was at this point Grimlock switched to reciting Juliet's lines.

Not sure he could hold in his laughter any longer the Angry Archer continued on his way, passing Professor Princess and Swoop in the hall. The little girl had abandoned her floating pony in favor of riding Swoop who appeared delighted to carry her around. The Archer decided to ignore this, and the soap opera like fight going on between Slow-Mo and Nano-sec in the next room.

Stumbling about Starscream and the Constructicons, the Angry Archer was surprised to see the two construction workers singing famous opera songs while Starscream encouraged them. The man tapped his chin thoughtfully, didn't he hear Megatron say that Starscream wasn't allowed to do this to them? He supposed he'd have to find the Decepticon lord and ask.

He heard loud music coming from the room next door and at first thought it was Megatron on his DDR machine again, but to his surprise, it was Rumble and Frenzy with Soundwave supervising. They two little robots were terrible at it and lacked the grace Megatron had acquired from the game. But they weren't dancing to be good; they wanted to see who the WORST dancer was.

Finally, the human found Megatron in the communications center speaking to their double agent. Lugnut stood at his side, specifically his left side. It appeared the large Decepticon and Soundwave had divided Megatron in half, Lugnut always on the left (his side) and Soundwave on the right (_his_ side)

"And anything else Shockwave?" Megatron asked, apparently not happy to be away from his game and letting Rumble and Frenzy use it in his absence.

"Yessir." The spy answered, "I've learned that a quadrant on the far reaches of-"

The spy was cut off by the entrancing and exiting of Random and Wasp "Hi Shockvave!" the Blitzwing waved and blew him a kiss as he and his companion pushed a carton of unknown origin and content through the room.

Megatron nodded to Lugnut, "Find out what they're up to." He ordered.

"Yes, oh GLORIOUS Megatron! Anything you command my liege!" he trumpeted and exited after the 'cons in question.

"Anyway," Shockwave continued, "they're lowering security on quadrant-"

He was cut off once again by the arrival of another Blitzwing, this time Cold, from the same direction Random had come. "Greetings Shockvave." He nodded, then turned to Megatron, "I need to talk to Lugnut. Vhy isn't 'e vith jou?..." he paused for a moment "Soundvave didn't kill 'im, did 'e?"

Megatron scoffed, "No." He answered, "I sent him to go see what you 'son' is planning."

"We gave up ze family zing." Cold said simply, and went after the big Decepticon.

Shockwave didn't even get a chance to start again when Angry entered, the red-faced Blitzwing opened his mouth to say something when he noticed Shockwave "What the frag do Jou vant!?!" he roared.

"Hello, Angry." Shockwave sighed.

Angry turned to Megatron "Vhere iz ze 'uman 'Slow-mo'!?" he asked rather loudly, "I need to get that picture avay from her!"

"What do you care?" Megatron snapped, "We've _ALL_ seen it?"

"What picture?" Shockwave inquired, "The snuggles?"

"GAHHH! I'M GOING TO FRY HER INTO BACON BITZ!" Angry shouted raising his arms high. And storming out.

"I'm never going to get used to there being three of them." The double agent sighed.

"Nobody is." Megatron retorted, "Well…? About the quadrant?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes! They will be shutting down quadrant-" at that moment a loud shriek was heard, two seconds later Wasp and Random burst threw the doors again, running like their afts were on fire. A moment later a glimmering and sparkling Lugnut followed bellowing furiously about the glitter that had been dropped on him.

"Cold!" Random shouted "Put on my toom-stone I regret NOTZIIIIIING!"

"Spider-bot!" Wasp cried, "Sorry, sorry! Wasp never talk to Blitz-Random again!"

"Get back here you little glitches!"

The ruckus died down and once again Megatron turned to Shockwave and requested the information. "Actually sir," Shockwave answered, "I think it'll be safer to just send you the data." On que another shout rose up. This time the door opened and Nano-sec ran through carrying Slow-mo.

"Na na na na na na!" she taunted as Angry and Cold ran in after them, embarrassedly trying to get the picture of them snuggling in the snow back.

"Good call." Megatron decided.

"Sending you the information now sir, and that's it." The spy saluted, "Shockwave out." The screen blinked out. Megatron turned around, ready to head back to his game.

"I beg your pardon sir." The Angry Archer announced. Megatron rolled his optics, demanding to know what the problem was, the man quickly filled him in on what he'd seen all over the base, finally landing at the question of where Starscream was allowed to force the Constructicons to sing or not.

"Aahhh." Megatron groaned. "Let's let him have this one." The overlord decided. He _really _wanted to try and get that perfect score.

The Angry Archer glanced in the direction of the room with the singing Constructicons. He felt bad for them, but there wasn't anything he could do, and if Megatron wouldn't help, nobody would want to.

--

Meanwhile at the Autobot Elite Guard headquarters, Shockwave stretched his servos and returned to his guise as LongArm Prime. He had work to do for the Autobots too, that he'd put off to report to Megatron. LongArm stepped out of his office and started down the hall when a pair of arms snaked around his shoulders and pulled him back into a surprise hug.

"Hiya Shockwave!" Jazz proclaimed loudly.

"Get off!" LongArm protested, pulling Jazz's arms off. Then suddenly Jazz's words replayed in his head, "Wait, _what_ did you call me!?"

The Cyber ninja laughed, "It's awesome, Moonracer told us about it! After Sentinel passed out in the bar, by the way, ya need to tell us about that 'cause she won't! Anyway, ya weren't helping her get 'im back on his stabilizing servos 'cause ya were too busy telling everyone in the bar that ya were a Decepticon named 'Shockwave'! Gold! Absolute gold, ya dig?"

"What!?" he couldn't believe he'd done that; he'd be caught for sure now.

Jazz laughed again, "That's right! Like it or not, you've got a new nickname for life!"

As if to prove the ninja correct, another Elite Guard member walked by waving, "Morning Jazz! How's it going Shockwave?"

LongArm waved back nervously, "Fine…"

"Hey, Ultra Magnus just called a meeting for all the Primes, you should get going Shockwave." The bot teased, "Unless you want to report to Megatron first?"

Jazz laughed, LongArm sulked, "Ha ha. I just _finished_ making a report, let's get to that meeting, and for _sure_ I'll tell Megatron _all_ about it when it's over." He said sounding as sarcastic as he could possibly get when telling the truth.

Jazz slapped his back, "That's the spirit lil' traitor!"

"Stop that."

**Author's end note: **Poor Shockwave, at this point he'd probably run back to the Decepticons out of paranoia alone.

**Editor's note:** Please review and no flames. Give us a few ideas if you want.


	17. Dance Edition

**Author's Note: **First off let me apologize for how hideously late this is. My School blocked and I've been sick, next, I hadlittle to no inspiration at all aside from this addictive song I've been listening to non-stop, Aha~ KARA (Note they are a Korean band), I just want to get up and dance to this one, anyway chapter is unbelievably short. Tough luck.**  
Warning: **Music and dancing**  
Disclaimer: **Everyone should have their own group of dancing robots, but I'm as likely to get them as I am to get the rights to TFA.

Three Times a Charm

Dance edition

Megatron was getting close to his perfect score, but on the particularly harder levels he just hadn't developed the lower body speed for its demanding steps. But every attempt brought him closer. As he danced he failed to notice Random sneak in. The Blitzwing was originally going to just slip passed him and find Wasp, hoping to convince the little convict to be his accomplice again, but the music stopped him.

He stood just listening for a few moments. Within moments he was also bouncing to the beat, and quickly caught on with the lyrics.

As he was dancing, his other personality, Cold, stepped in. Hs plans were to get Megatron's approval for a text he wanted to run, but he too was stopped by the addictive musical beat. He stood just listening, and gradually started to tap his stabilizing servos to the music. Random bounced over and took Cold's hands, inviting him to dance. Cold decided, maybe just this once, and smiled as he too began a full fun boogie.

The two of them danced, while Megatron continued unaware, getting steadily closer to his perfect score. The door opened once again to reveal Angry, who only stared at Cold for a few moments, wondering what the _frag_ was compelling his other personality to behave in such a…_Random_-like way. It took him just as long to start tapping his stabilizing servos, but longer to notice he was. Once it processed that this was a fun beat, the red-faced Blitzwing smiled, Primus forbid, he _smiled, _and made his way over to his other two personalities.

Cold yelped when he found himself pushed to the floor on top of Random. Both of them looked up in shock as Angry 'stole the stage', dancing with amazing ability that would have made Megatron proud. They watched, completely stunned the rest of the song as Angry danced his way out of the room.

Cold and Random turned and looked at each other, "Holy frag…" they gasped in unison.

_Oops!_ The DDR machine announce.

"_Frag_!" Megatron roared, "I was so close!" He noticed the two Blitzwings behind him, staring it complete astonishment in the direction Angry had left it. "What?"

The two turned to face him, but neither could find the words to explain.

**Author's (Random) end note: **You know, with how much I like Blackarachnia, some people find it hard to believe that I actually suffer from Arachnophobia. I tell you, its one thing to know its there, but another thing altogether when it crawls down in front of your face. -whimpers- I had an incident this morning with a spider in the bathroom…I threw a book at it.

**Editor's Note: **-laughs at Zaerith's misfortune- Okay, after being ungodly sick for a_ long _time, I'm finally starting to get back in business so thanks for reading, and if you could do me one little favor that would be great: SUBMIT SOME IDEAS! None of us (you guys, me, or Zaerith) like dealing with short chapters so go ahead and give us an idea or two for the next chapter. Please? Also, leave a review and don't flame. **  
**


	18. Stuck on you

**Author's Note: **This chapter inspired by **Fickle'Fan'Girl, reka1207, **and** Writer'sApprentice**

**Warning: **I think you know what to expect. Please note that the Twilight mention _is _a bashing, one: because I hate the series, two: because it's Angry and Cold, neither of which I can imagine being impressed by the series at all. So if you happen to like Twilight, please don't be too offended by this and abandon the fic simply because of it.**  
Disclaimer: **Ah, because I'm asking for ideas, you guys are as big of violators as me. See ya in court, there's safety in numbers.

Three Time a Charm

Stuck on you

"Undah ze Sea~!"

"You're horrible!" Starscream shouted from his place on the wall. "You're going to get it this time!"

Random stopped singing to flash Starscream a superior grin, "Not as badly as jou vill vhen Megatron finds out jou vere making ze Constructicon's sing again~"

Starscream yanked back trying to peel himself off the wall where Random had stuck him with Crazy Glue. "They _like_ singing!" He tried defending his actions.

"So do I, but jou dun try mak'in me zing." Random countered. "Undah ze SEA~"

The seeker pouted, Random had him there, "But they actually sound _kinda_ good when they sing together." He explained at last, "They just need a couple of singing lessons, _you_ need a couple of miracles."

Random's jaw dropped and his expression twisted in hurt sadness. "But I _still_ like to."

"You've been singing ONE line from The Little Mermaid for almost a half an hour! There are other lines and less annoying songs!"

"Jou zink I may juz be singing ze wrong songs?"

"YES!"

"Alright! Maybe you know zis one; Beneath ze Ocean! Beneath ze Ocean~ We make all kinds of commotion, beneath ze OCEAN~^^"

"Random stop! Just STOP!" Starscream begged.

The door opened, Angry and Cold entered attached at the hip, fellow victims of Random's Crazy Glue. "Random." Cold announced wave a pack of papers, "Ve finished."

"Vhat did jou zink of my fic?" Random asked bouncing over.

"Zis iz ze most terrible zing written sinze zat stupid Twilight Saga!" Angry roared tearing the paper away from his blue-faced companion and throwing it at Random.

"I disagree." Cold said, Angry glared at him and opened his mouth as if to argue, Cold put a servo over it, "Notzing is more terrible zen sparkling vampirez." Angry didn't say anything and just nodded.

Random, however, looked heart broken, "Vhat's vrong vit it?"

"All jou did was summarize ze last few minutes of ze Alien vs Predator movie, and tagged 'And zen ze made out' at ze end." Cold explained shaking his head.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Starscream shouted, "…Wait…Who made out?"

"Ze girl and Ze Predator!" Angry shouted as if it should have been obvious.

"Okay, I can identify many things wrong with that." The seeker sighed, "First that I've got to question how you expect them to make out when Predators don't have lips."

Random shrugged, "Probably ze same vay Shockvave does."

"Vhich iz?" Cold asked.

"Who cares?" Shockwave doesn't kiss." Starscream protested.

"What was that about Shockwave?" Megatron entered, taking a break from his game, he was doing better at pacing himself this time than last time.

Starscream glanced over at Megatron, "Tell Blitzwing that Shockwave has never kissed anyone."

"But he has." Megatron corrected.

"He has?" They all repeated, clearly surprised.

The overlord sighed, "Why is it that since Shockwave is a loner, everyone assumes he's a virgin?"

The four looked stunned, again all together they asked, "He isn't?"

Megatron coughed, "Are you kidding? Shockwave is a _beast_. He's as bad as _I_ am…and usually he's better, so in this circumstance he's actually worse."

"I had no idea…" Starscream muttered looking at the floor.

"By the way, what are you doing to the wall?"

"Hmm?" Oh, he'd almost forgotten, "Random used Crazy Glue to put me here."

"He did?" Megatron raised an optic ridge, he gaze drifted from Starscream to Random and back again. Starscream waited for Megatron to get mad at the crazy robot, to scold him for doing such a thing, but when Megatron finally spoke all he said was, "Wish I'd thought of that." He attempted to leave.

But found he's stepped in spilled Crazy Glue. Starscream gave a smirk, thinking karma had finally done its job. Random whimpered, and begged Megatron not to kill him, because it wasn't his fault. The overlord struggled against his trap.

_Here, let me help_. Galvatron offered.

"Give it up." Starscream taunted, I've been at it for forty-five minutes, if I can't get out neither can yo-"

_Krunkn! Crekunc!_

Galvatron ripped his feet free of the floor taking huge chunks of it with him as he exited. "How's he do zat?" Cold asked aloud, Angry promptly used all of his strength to try and repeat Megatron's escape, resulting on both of them ending up on the floor. A light flashed, Slow-mo and Nano Sec zipped by, camera in hand making a face as they went, taking their prize of 'more evidence of snuggles'.

Angry roared in fury, but with Cold stuck to him it was too risky to run after them.

Random took this moment to start singing again.

"Under ze Sea~" He sang as loudly and off key as he possibly could.

Starscream, Angry, and Cold groaned simultaneously and considered turning off their audio sensors for the rest of the day.

**Author's end note:** I got a little bit of writer's block at the end of this one, so bear with me if you think it ended too suddenly. All work and no play makes Zaerith… something something…

**Editor's note:** it makes her no fun is what it makes her. Thanks for your great ideas last chapter, let's see if you can top them with a few new ideas.


	19. Nice Try Screamer

**Author's Note: **Here's how things are going to work from now on since I lost access to at school; I will post new chapters once every two weeks, because now my only access to this site is at my church were I'm really only supposed to use the internet for homework,) so first week, I'll post the new chapter, the next check my reviews for ideas, then the following week post again. This week's chapter is credited to **FluffyBiscuits** (though the idea is modified a little bit) **WriterApprentice**, and **Scorpling-No-Okami**. (Briefly) I noticed quite a few people wanted an elaboration on the "Shockwave being a beast" thing. I'll try, but no guarantees it'll make it into this chapter, if it does, it will be a light reference to something **reka1207 **suggested a while back. **  
Warning: **-laughs maniacally- That would be telling, wouldn't it?

**Disclaimer: **If I owned TFA, Random would be looked in a room filled with green jell-o, just to see what he'd do with it. -This could probably and up in TTAC-

Three Times a Charm

Nice Try Screamer

It was an accident.

Starscream couldn't think of anything else to say. He stared at the remains of the pink pony Professor Princess loved to ride on, Powdered Sugar was it? The seeker had just made a final, desperate attempt to free himself from the wall by firing his null rays into it. He'd been freed, yes, but at what cost? The pony had been sitting innocently on the other side of the wall and now what weren't ashes was dirty with debris.

He glanced around praying nobody had seen him. Grabbing what was left he took off in a hurry towards his private quarters so he could think of what to do. In the quite of his rooms he looked at the tattered remains of Powdered Sugar in horror.

Professor Princess was one of the humans (though severely tempting) nobody dared harm or insult, no, not even Random or Megatron. And for good reason, the child may have been completely useless and annoying, but she knew how to black mail. There was a picture of Angry, photo courtesy of Slow-mo, which the younger human and manipulated into a picture of the Blitzwing with a 'pretty make over'. She threatened to send the picture all over the world and across the universe if he ever bothered her and Powdered Sugar again. She also promised the same thing would happen to_ any_one who harmed either of them.

Starscream shuddered.

He was still getting joke calls from Decepticons he'd never even met that had somehow gotten hold of the photo manipulation Megatron had done of him during the Prank Wars. Goomba-scream lived.

He couldn't have that again. The air commander and second in command paced his room fearfully. He couldn't tell the other humans or his fellow Decepticons, they'd rat him out in a spark pulse. He needed help… _real_ help. An idea came to him, and simultaneously the lights in his room (which didn't usually turn on when he entered) lit up.

Accessing his computer, he pulled up his contacts list and scrolled through the names until he reached the one he was looking for. There was a wait while Starscream attempted to call, but at last:

"Lockdown's road kill Café; you kill'em I grill'em. How may I direct your call?"

Starscream stared for a moment, and then burst out laughing. Lockdown was wearing the chef's hat and everything, the other mech glowered at him, Starscream managed to pull himself back together, "What happened to being a bounty hunter?" he asked.

Lockdown shrugged, "Sometimes work is kinda slow," he explained, "It's always a good idea to have multiple jobs."

The seeker snickered, "Well I've got a job for you now." He quietly explained his situation, this time the bounty hunter laughed at him.

"Let me get this straight." Lockdown sneered, "You blew up a floating pink pony, and now your afraid an equally pink flesh-baby, is going to give you a _makeover_?" The laughter following was a big insult to Starscream's pride, but he ignored it.

"Lockdown, she _will_. I think you owe me for all the trouble you caused me during the- you know."

The bounty hunter glared at him. "What exactly to you think I can do about this, Starscream?"

"I don't know…" Truth be told, the seeker hadn't thought that far ahead, "Maybe…help me pin the blame on somebody else!"

Lockdown thought about this for a while. "Okay, but its going to cost you."

"How much?"  
"What do you think is fair?"

Starscream contemplated pricing, but finally offered a few hundred credits.

"Twice that." Lockdown demanded.

"What!?"

"Just a little extra to support my bond-mate." The other mech grinned.

Starscream glared at him; "You don't _have_ a bond-mate!" he shot back.

Lockdown looked offended, but quickly smirked, "I will someday, I'm saving up."

They haggled over price for about an hour before they finally came to an agreement. Starscream would pay his three thousand Credits when he arrived, and another three thousand when the job was done, plus he'd let Lockdown borrow his null rays to shot Random.

Of course this was all _if_ they didn't get caught.

--

Angry marched around the base, proudly carrying the new toy he'd taken from Random. The fiasco with the Crazy Glue had been terrible enough (Thankfully Lugnut had the spark to help him separate from Cold), but Angry was not, repeat _not_ going to let Random play with duct tape. He'd gotten too attached to the sticky stuff himself.

Random must have special ordered Decepticon sized duct tape somewhere to get it, but there were boxes full waiting for him when Angry found them. After investigating a little, the hot-headed Blitzwing had experimented with the tape and found himself having fun with it. He then waited for Random to arrive so he could chew him out, so not to raise suspensions. After confiscating the sticky stuff, Angry took it for his personal amusement.

And Primus was he loving it.

He'd already tagged most of Detroit, duct taping buildings closed and graffiti-ing the Decepticon insignia with tape one the tallest ones. Writing things in the tape like: DECEPTICONS PWN, FRAG AUTOBRATS, and STARSCREAM IS A WHINER.

He was just about to go down to Cold's lab and leave a little surprise for him while the intelligent Blitzwing was on a scouting mission with Blackarachnia when a sound caught his audios.

It was Professor Princess, she looked distraught, like she'd been crying and her voiced cracked as she called out , "Powdered Sugar! Powdered Sugar where are you? I don't want to play hide and seek anymore!" She sobbed loudly, "Please come out!"

Angry backed away hoping that the girl wouldn't notice him, but too late, she jumped in front of him, and asked if he had seen her pony and before letting him answer, told him to help her find it.

"Jou can't tell meh vhat to do fleshling!" Angry roared, "Who do jou zink jou are!?"

Professor Princess smirked, "I think I'm the girl who'd got your pretty makeover picture." She taunted, and then the girl glowered threateningly, "And if you don't help me find my Powdered Sugar I'll make sure the _whole_ _world_ sees it!"

Needless to say, within minutes Angry was pacing the halls, with much humiliation, taking a quick look in every room. "Powdared Sugah? Powdared Sugah?"

Suddenly Professor Princess gave a loud shriek. From across them base Decepticons and humans came running to see what the problem was. The girl whimpered and sobbed, "P…P-powdered Sugar…? W-waahhhhh!!!"

--

Lockdown and Starscream smirked at each other. It had been simple enough once Lockdown arrived, claiming he was hunting down a bot who was rumored to be hiding on Earth. At first they thought to blame Random, but that would be too obvious. They needed someone else, someone with a record, but not too big a record.

Wasp.

The green bot twitched furiously as the distraught girl made accusation after accusation against him for destroying her little pony. Something wasn't right though, the two of them exchanged a nervous glance as well. They other Decepticons weren't buying this.

Finally the SUV managed to calm their youngest member down. "Start from the beginning." Megatron ordered, "What happened?"

"I couldn't find Powdered Sugar! We looked everywhere!"

"We?"

She pointed at Angry; the Decepticons gave him funny looks before he accused her of blackmail, several voices gave a unanimous 'aahh' as they nodded in understanding. Megatron motioned back to Professor Princess to keep going.

"And then when I went into _his_ quarters--" she broke out in another sob and pulled out tattered pink…stuff and burned what-ever-that-used-to-be, "I found _this_!"

The humans glared accusingly at Wasp.

Megatron turned to him; he clearly didn't think the twitching bot was responsible. "What do you have to say Wasp?"

"Wasp never seen _that_ before. Pink flesh thing is a stupid fat meanie butt." He declared. The girl screamed in rage and had to be held back by the adults, seemingly thinking if she pounded Wasp hard enough, her bare human hand would cause him some damage.

_I like his vocabulary_, Galvatron whispered, _I'm adding that to our list of insults_.

_Not now, _Megatron told him silently_, either be useful or shut up._

_ Alright_, Galvatron was quiet for a total of 3.5 seconds before adding_, it's too nicely laid out. It has to be a set up._

_ I know that, but who would set up Wasp?_

_ Well Lockdown seemed to come out of nowhere._

Megatron nodded, confusing his soldiers and the humans, who saw him agree to absolutely nothing, _True, but that's a little too nicely laid out as well._

Galvatron had a smirk in his voice, _Isn't this much better then just thinking to yourself? Somebody must have called for Lockdown to come, and help them cover this up._

_ I suppose, if it weren't for you, that would have just popped into my head right?'_

Galvatron did not answer.

"Lockdown." Megatron announced suddenly, the room, which had started getting loud with arguing suddenly fell into silence.

The bounty hunter stepped forward, "Y-yes sir?"

"Who are you helping cover for?"

Everyone's gazed turned to Lockdown, who tried his hardest not to look at Starscream and the 'we're busted' look spread across his face. "I…I have no idea what you mean Megatron."

Galvatron took over and threw his sword at Lockdown "You're lying!" He hissed, "I don't like being lied to."

"And Wasp doesn't like being framed!" Wasp declared, his stingers sizzling with electricity.

BOOM!

The doors burst open and Blackarachnia, in spider mode, charged the bounty hunter, "_What_ did you frame Waspinator for!?" she demanded.

Cold entered after her and stood by his other personalities, "Vhat did I miss?"

Random gave a quick, and highly exaggerated summary, Angry pouted, now that Cold was back he couldn't redecorate the lab with his duct tape which he tossed around in his hands anxiously, waiting for someone to come forward so he could punch their lights out for wasting his time.

The combined glares, the sword an inch from his face, and the spider hissing at him caused poor Lockdown to crack, "Starscream, it was Starscream!"

"Weasel!" The seeker accused, "Canary!"

The two of them were thrown to the center of the gathering were they were forced to fess up what had happened. Slow-mo approached with her camera, "Smile!" They blinked at the flash, and Slow-mo smirked, handing the camera to Professor Princess, "Have fun kid." She said.

Lockdown and Starscream gapped in horror and the girl cheered happily describing in perfect detail what she was going to do for their makeovers and who exactly would see them. "I'll start with your Autobot friends!" She decided.

Blackarachnia transformed back into robot mode and approached Angry holding out her hand, "May I?" She asked.

The Red-faced Blitzwing knew what she meant immediately and handed over the duct tape. The techno organic then proceeded too duct tape the guilty duo's mouths shut and gave the tape to Wasp so he could finish them off by Duct taping them together.

Megatron smirked, "Alls well that ends well."

_I'll drink to that_. Galvatron said.

--

LongArm slid into his office, where he locked the door behind him and took several deep intakes which he'd heard Moonracer to tell Sentinel to do when he started feeling panicky. He knew that the Elite Guard thought of it as just teasing, but LongArm jumped every time somebody called him 'Shockwave'. Even Ultra Magnus had been in that habit lately. Everyone thought his reaction was just that funny.

Transforming into his true form, he set up contact with Megatron and sent a report on the last meeting of the Primes. Once that was done he leaned back in his chair and tried to think of a way to convince everyone to stop calling him Shockwave. He might have to fake a mental meltdown and get sent to therapy, it seemed to stop everyone for making fun of Sentinel's fear of organics.

There was a knock on his door suddenly. Shockwave Jumped up and switched back to his disguise as LongArm. He opened it slowly, "Yes?"

"Excuse me?" The pink femme asked, "You're LongArm Prime, right?"

It was a relief to hear somebody use his fake name, "Y-yes! How may I help you?"

The femme smiled, "My name is Arcee, I used to be an intelligence officer before my memory was wiped. I want to try and get back into the Elite Guard; do you think I could observe the intelligence branch for a while so I can write my thesis?"

Fire burned inside him as the double agent looked at the femme, he barely heard himself agree to her request, and felt like his knees were going to collapse underneath him when she smiled at him.

"Thank you." she turned around and left, "See you later LongArm Prime sir!"

LongArm stood in the doorway staring after her for quite a while after she disappeared. The fire still burned and his legs felt wobbly, "Whoaa there!" he ordered himself. "Calm down now… this is _exactly_ what got you in trouble with Jolt."

Shockwave wasn't accustomed to emotions, but he was very familiar with the sensation of lust and was the one thing he could say was his fatal flaw. Sometimes he just couldn't contain himself, and he was sort of…hmmm, embarrassed? Embarrassed was probably right, he wasn't sure which emotions were which, but he was sure he was embarrassed by his bestial desires.

_Frag_, he thought as he shut the door to his office, knowing that this lust he was growing for that femme would be just like every other time, _here we go again._

**Author's end note: **Awhile back **reka1207 **requested Shockwave/Arcee, and I have mentioned that I will take romance requests if I can figure out how to work it in with the current plot (or lack thereof), so now you have your explanation for Shockwave being a 'beast' and Reka can have some Shockwave/Arcee sub plot.

**Editor's Note:** Review please.


	20. Sweets for the Sweet

**Author's note: **I didn't have time to properly look at my reviews/suggestions this week, so I just copy and pasted them into a word document and now I can't find the word document. Soooo instead I'm doing a nice short-ish chapter based on a suggestion for an earlier chapter, with a little twist. But I can't remember who made the suggestion to credit them and I can't exactly check, so credit goes to the suggester and they know who they are. Thank you!

**Warning: **Autobots and a holiday celebrated a little late. Implied self-cest AngryxCold, RandomxEverybody mentions of Sentinel/Blackarachnia and light Shockwave/Arcee. More sweet then funny.

**Disclaimer: **Transformers Animated respectfully belongs the Hasbro. Un-respectfully, I own nothing.

Three Times a Charm

Sweets for the Sweet

Bumblebee stretched out his arms and groaned. It was his turn to take the morning shift, but he didn't want to. Recharge was so peaceful and wonderful it made him forget about the weird luminescent mold growing on his ceiling. Prowl had express concern about it, but unless it started growing fangs and a nasty appetite, Bumblebee could care less... If it weren't for the smell anyway…

After mindlessly tossing and turning pretending to still be in recharge, Bumblebee at last rolled out of his berth and dragged himself toward the door. He stalled for time grabbing a can of oil and taking a drink, but even that could only delay the inevitable, and finally he stepped outside.

However he didn't make it two steps out of the base before he noticed a package sitting out front. He approached it cautiously and prodded it with his stingers. When nothing happened he picked it up, but didn't open it, he'd seen enough movies to be careful with mystery boxes. The yellow compact went back into the base and set the package down on the table before running to get Prime. Soon enough the Autobot team was assembled in a circle around it.

Prowl made a further examine. There was a tag on it that read "to:" and "From:" but rather than having names written on the lines provided there were crude drawings of the Autobot insignia, and what appeared to be a jack-o-lantern.

Precautions were followed and eventually the team decided it was safe to actually _open _the package. After layers of paper, duct tape, and bubble wrap were removed they found a shoe box. At this point Sari came in and joined the circle. Just in time too, the human volunteered to open it. They group was expecting many things, but this was not on the list.

It was an assortment of energon goodies and chocolate treats.

Sari cried delightedly and reached in to help herself, but Prowl stopped her, "We still can't be sure who sent them, they could be-"

"Poisoned?" Sari challenged, "Prowl, does _anyone_ do that." Before anyone could stop her she unwrapped a chocolate and popped it in her mouth. "Tastes fine." She declared taking another.

"What's this?" Bumblebee asked pulling some sheets out from underneath the goodies. "There's one for all of us."

"What are they?" Bulk-Head asked.

"They look like…" Prowl assessed as he took the one with his name on it. "Valentine's day cards…?"

The group exchanged looks. "From….Who, exactly?" Ratchet iquired. Nobody could answer.

---

Blackarachnia was taking a nap when it happened. A box was dropped on her. Hissing she jumped to her feet looking for whatever the cause was. On the ground in front of her was a small heart shaped box, and above her was a giggling Blitzwing. Since he was giggling it didn't take a genius to figure out which Blitzwing.

"Random, what the frag is wrong with you!?" she snapped.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" the Blitzwing sang happily.

Blackarachnia took a moment to process this. "Uh, dummy…" She growled "Valentine's day was _last month_, as in it _over_ and _has been for some time_."

This did not discourage the other Decepticon in the slightest, in fact his Jack-o-Lantern grin got bigger, "Zis iz true, but vhat fun iz iit to give Valentines on Valentine's day vhen everybody iz _expecting _zem!? Izn't it more _romantic_ zis vay?"

If the techno-organic hadn't sidestepped and hissed, prepared to poison him, Random would have given her a nice fluffy kiss, instead he ran into the wall. "Romance, is one thing on a list of _many_ I don't want, _especially_ from you." She warned, but inside, her spark tightened at the thought of a long lost love.

Random turned around brushing his face, "Zat's okay, I've too many Valentines card to deliver anyvay." For some unknown reason, Blackarachnia fell for this, but as the Blitzwing passed, he suddenly turned and gave her a big kiss on the cheek and dashed off cackling "Got jou! Got jou! Got jou~!"

Blackarachnia hissed in frustration, hardly believing she's fallen for that, but her anger melted away after a while as she picked up the box of energon goodies Random had given her. She opened them up, and examined it. She didn't really feel like eating any of them though, and instead closed the box again.

An idea popped into her head, she hoped she didn't seem weak, but she took her box and walked down to Cold's lab where the blue-faced Blitzwing was more likely to be caught making an ice sculpture then actually performing an experiment.

She gave the door a knock and quicker then she thought Cold answered, but almost seemed disappointed when he saw who was there, like he'd been expecting someone else. "Vhat iz it?" he asked politely inviting her in.

"Do you remember how you got to Cybertron? Y'know, when you where kicked out of the base?" she inquire

Cold gave a slow nod, "Sort of, but I vouldn't be able to explain."

"Whatever." She held up her heart shaped box, "Can you help me with this? I need it delivered to someone."

The Blitzwing's optics narrowed suspiciously, "Somevon who?"

"Someone on the Elite Guard." She specified, the noting the look of alarm on his face continued, "I just need you to get it to Cybertron, I'll call Shockwave and tell him who to deliver it to, but you just need to get it there. Can you for that for me?"

Cold nodded, again slowly, but understandingly as he took the box, "Do Jou vant to sign it first so, ze know who its from?" Blackarachnia nodded and took it back, signing as Elita, and ignoring Cold's confused look.

It was then that the spider noticed a similar box on Cold's desk. "Did Random give you one too?" She asked.

"E's giving zem to everybody," the jet replied, his voice sounded flustered at the mention of the energon, "But…ah…zat von iz not from Random…"

"Then who is it-" Blackarachnia glanced at the box and almost laughed but decided to behave herself, after all Cold was about to do a pretty risky favor for her.

_To: Cold. From: Angry TELL ANYBODY AND I'LL FRAG YOUR HARDDRIVE SO BAD YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO TELL IT FROM YOUR MOTHER BOARD!!!_

She did let loose a kind giggle, "I won't tell anyone." The spider promised.

"Zat vould be preferable." The blue faced Blitzwing replied, "I';m not sure which of zem stole ze idea from ze ozer…."

He was talking about Angry and Random. Did Angry see Random making Valentine's presents and decide to give one to Cold? Or did Random see Angry making Valentine's a present for Cold and decide to make some for everyone?

"I see…" She said to break the silence, "Do you like it?"

"…" Cold didn't answer right away, "Yes. I liek iit…but I'd…uh, better get going for jour delivery."

"Thank you." Blackarachnia said as she left in one direction while Cold went in another. Outside the spider transformed and crawled across the ceiling, and froze when she spotted Angry and Random down the hall talking.

"Did jou hear zat?" Angry was whispering, Blackarachnia coulkd almost her his embarrassed delight, "He zaid 'e lieks iit!" Random giggled and patted Angry's shoulder.

--

Shockwave had been surprised to find the message from Blackarachnia, and even more surprised when he was asked to complete a delivery, and to top that off finding out his delivery was a box of energon goodies for Sentinel. In his brief meeting with Cold on the outskirts of the nearby city, he'd inquired about it and learned it was a late "Valentine's day" present. Valentine's day being a holiday humans celebrated to honor the emotion of love.

On his way back to the Elite Guard, the box of energon goodies under his arm, Shockwave transformed back into the Elite Guard Intelligence office and contemplated this. The femme he'd recently met, Arcee, popped into his head and he couldn't stop himself. The spy walked into and energon bar and ordered an assortment of Energon goodies, processed to be sweet and delicious,for her.

Finally back at headquarters, LongArm tracked down Sentinel and told him he'd been approached by a stranger and asked to give him the box. The other Prime looked like he was about to have a short circuit, but accepted the gift. Then he started his search for Arcee.

"LongArm Prime, sir!" The femme found him first. "I'm sorry I missed the meeting today, Ultra Magnus wanted to talk to me about my memory loss."  
LongArm froze upon seeing her, his plan had been to give her the box of energon goodies, in a sophisticated, calm, and polite way. Instead his knees started to buckle, and his face got hot. She took a step closer and asked if he was alright. He shoved the box into her hands, it was not heart-shaped and fancy as the one that Blackarachnia had given Sentinel, but it was the best he could come up with.

"H-h-happy V-v-valentine's Day!" he stuttered, the heat growing in his face turning the metal a super heated red, and as Arcee opened her mouth to ask what he meant, the Prime turned tail and fled.

_This is not going well…_ he thought as he locked himself in his office. For good measure he moved his desk in front of the door. _This is not going well at _all.

**Author's end note:** Somebody should have told Shockwave that Valentine's Day was actually last month, but ignorance is bliss. Besides, who in the Decepticon army would thing he's got a crush? Just filling up space now…lalalalala lalala!


	21. April Fools!

**Posted early because of distinct lack of computer on proper date**

Beneath the glimmering waves of lake Erie, in the dark halls of the Decepticon base, three Decepticons huddled around a table. Well, _one_ Decepticon. _Three_ personalities. Cold sat closest to the door, sipping energon elegantly from what appeared to be a wine glass. Next to him on the right, Angry took a large gulp from his beer mug full of energon. Lastly, Random held a regular energon cube with both hands and sipped happily at it with a crazy straw.

They drank in silence, until Angry cocked his head, as if acknowledging the presence of another sentient life form, "Vhat!?!" He growled irritably.

Cold looked up from his drink, in the same direction Angry had indicated. "Jou vere expecting a REAL Chapta?" The blue faced Blitzwing gave a light chuckle which was followed by Random's shrill cackle.

"APRIL FOOLS!" He guffawed. The three of them lifted their glasses and clicked them together.

Lugnut stood at the door staring. He wanted to ask something like; _Who are you talking to? What are you talking about? _Or_ What do you mean real chapter?_ But the titanium giant had long learned that such questions would never be answered and instead just shook his head, turning away and mumbling. "You three are so _weird_." This only resulted in Random laughing harder.

**April Fools! I'll be back with a real chapter later! ^_~**


	22. Reporting for Duty, Bitch

**Author's note: **Sorry about the April fools thing, XD, I couldn't help myself and my sister/editor didn't help at ALL. Anyway, here's the next chapter.

**Warning: **Elite guard, Sentinel's murderous subconscious, pie.

**Disclaimer: **All I own are a couple of toys and a bunch of reviews I keep to remind myself people read what I write and like it. And a tub full of pudding, just don't tell Random.

Three Times a Charm

Reporting for duty, Bitch

Accidents happen.

Ultra Magnus knew this of course. They were as fundamental factor of the universe as coincidences, lucky shots, and cream pie fights. Primus forbid he ever let the Jet twins back to Earth, Primus _forbid_. Last time they were there they spent all day watching horror movies and the rest of the Elite Guard spent weeks trying to convince them that the assassins were _not_ after them and that the base was _not_ haunted or insane or whatever. And then there was the thing with the giant donut…

Wait…Where'd that come from? Ultra Magnus recollected his thoughts. Donut, insane, assassins, horror, Primus forbid, Earth, cream pie, fundament factors…Ah yes! Accidents happen.

Yes. Accidents happen. They were as fundamental factor of the universe as coincidences, lucky shots, and whip cream fights. Primus forbid he ever let the Jet twins back to Earth, Primus _forbid_. Hey! Don't start that again!

Ultra Magnus shook his head, he was really getting too old for this, but so many bots looked up to him it could be devastating if he suddenly up and left. But…and it could just be an old mech's paranoia, but the Magnus was sure that somebody was trying to kill him.

Accidents happen, but Ultra Magnus knew they were not supposed to be this bad, last as long, or happen so frequently. At first he'd just ignored them, after _accidents happen_, but when the **band-spanken-new** wall fell over and almost crushed the life out of his spark he started to worry.

He spoke with Sentinel's therapist briefly about his concern, just idle chit-chat while discussing the Prime's progress, and suddenly she got out her notes and jotting it down. It was then that Ultra Magnus the reason he couldn't read her notes was because she did all her note taking in the Earth Language 'Russian' to protect her patient's privacy.

"Watch out Ultras Magnus, Sir!"

"Huh?" The Magnus had barely looked up when Sentinel reached forward and pulled him off of his path which would have taken him directly into a wall. Just as the older bot was about to thank the Prime for his kindness, the ground beneath him began to shake. It wasn't ground at all, but a platform. It was raising. The old Magnus wanted to jump off, but it was already too high up.

"Ultra Magnus!" Sentinel shouted, "Don't worry Sir, I'll get you down!" Sentinel rushed over to the controls that powered the platform, intending to lower it, but he accidentally pushed the wrong button, and the whole machine fired up.

They were constructing a new building. The hope was to provide better education to the nameless public to discourage sympathy to the Decepticons, but in his current predicament, Ultra Magnus wished the whole thing would collapse. He dodged beams, cranes and other things that seemed to have been reprogrammed from 'docile' to 'kill'.

"Somebody get me down from here!"

--

Eventually he was rescued, but Ultra Magnus did not leave his office, his nice safe office, for a few cycles after the incident. He was jumped at the sound of a knock on his door. Everything was making him paranoid now; so he crept cautiously towards it and hesitating a moment before allowing his visitor inside.

_Visitors_, actually Sentinel and Moonracer entered delicately, so not to frighten the older mech. In his hands, Sentinel held to cubes, Ultra Magnus couldn't see, but one was full of energon, the other was holding nuts and bolts. The blue Prime handed him a one of the cubes.

"What brings you here?" Ultra Magnus asked, taking the cube without question. Sentinel was his most loyal soldier, possible ever. What could happen, right?

"I think Sentinel may be trying to hurt you Sir." Moonracer replied bluntly.

The two bots jumped. Ultra Magnus gawked at her in shock at such an accusation, while Sentinel wore an expression that read 'did you have to tell him so soon?' Then the two looked at each other, Sentinel held the gaze only a moment before he turned away guiltily.

"W-why?" Ultra Magnus asked.

Sentinel did not answer, but only shifted uncomfortably, Moonracer faked a cough to get the Magnus' attention "Sir," she said, "The way you work him, I'm surprised Sentinel has never melted down and tried to kill you before."

At this Sentinel looked at her nervously "You…you don't _actually_ think I'd kill Ultra Magnus…" he whispered, "Do you?"

"Sentinel I'm sorry about your subconscious' moral disagreement with the rest of you, but you've been trying to kill Ultra Magnus for deca-cycles." She said, again bluntly. "You'll note he was present at each and every one of your accidents."

"Okay, okay." Ultra Magnus raised his hands, "_If_ Sentinel is deliberately trying to cause me harm. Why?"

Moonracer sighed, "He's over worked, over stressed, having emotional problems, and he still thinks he needs to impress you. When you need a job done, he volunteers because he wants you to admire him so he can use that to take his mind off other problems. He's over worked himself, and now you've started to expect this behavior from him, so you don't even let him volunteer anymore, just assign him."

"I would have done it anyway." Sentinel ventured. Moonracer nudged him.

"Because of the transition from volunteering to assignment," she continued, "There's a subconscious part of him that's started to resent you, and lately he's been acting up."

"I have a split personality?" Sentinel asked.

"Not yet, but he could developed if we don't do something now." She turned to Ultra Magnus, 'This is where we need your help."

"If this 'could be;' other Sentinel wants to kill me, what can I do to help?" The other mech asked eyeing his commander suspiciously.

"He needs a vacation." She said. "A _LONG_vacation. No calling him back, no urging him to wrap it up. Send him off and don't let him come back until he's fully relaxed, I think calling him back so soon is what caused his subconscious to flare in the first place."

"That's it?" Ultra Magnus asked, "A vacation? Granted. Go. Have fun. See you when you feel better Sentinel Prime."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Sentinel protested, "I can't leave now, were in a middle of a project-"

"That you've already almost killed him with." Moonracer interjected.

Sentinel ignored her, "I can't leave now; I have too much work to do."

"As Magnus I order you to take a vacation." Ultra Magnus said, "There. Happy? I can get a council order if you want."  
"But-No! I mean…Yessir…I... Well…" Sentinel began to stutter, Moonracer made a hand motion reminding him to take slow intakes and think about what he wanted to say. "I don't want to go, sir, I need to finish a few things first…and…well, maybe now that we know what the problem is, and what to do about it, it'll go away."

Moonracer slapped her hand against her forehead, "Sentinel, didn't we already have this discussion!?" She demanded, Ultra Magnus shook his head, that was his Sentinel alright, he took his first sip of the Energon cube the Prime had handed him earlier. "Things like this don't go away just because you know what the problem is."

"But- I…I thought-" He was cut off by the sound of choking.

Ultra Magnus clasped his throat and wheezed. "Sentinel!" Moonracer shrieked , "What did you put in that energon?"

"Nothing it was straight from the…thing!" He answered in a panic.

"Oh Primus…" Moonracer breathed, "Sentinel I think you gave him the nuts and bolts."

Sentinel looked in to the cube he still held. If he were organic his face would have paled, "Whadda we do?"

"Go get help," she advised, "I have enough medical training to take care of the immediate problem, but if something worse starts up, he'll need a _real_ medic."

"Get help!" He repeated, "I can do that!" He rushed to the door, but paused and turned around "I guess I really do need that vacation, huh?"

"Sentinel!"

"Oh right! Get help!" He opened the door, ready to dash down the hall.

"CREAM PIE FIGHT!!! A voice outside shouted, and the next thing the blue Prime knew there was indeed, a cream pie, splattered against his face.

For one terrifying moment nobody moved as Sentinel reached up and brushed it out of his optics, glaring at the jets with an evil aura around him that could rival that of Megatron's. The silence was broken at last when Jetfire piped up, "Hey… you are not being the Magnus Ultra..."

Eventually help did get to Ultra Magnus, but it was at that moment that the therapist decided the sooner her patient was out of the Elite Guard base, the better.

**Author's end note:** Things got pretty serious there for a moment, so I tagged the pie thing in to make sure it stayed funny. Surprised you didn't it?


	23. Where's Baldo I mean Waldo

**Author's Note: **Again no juice, so I pulled something together at the last possible minute.

**Warning: **Repeat joke… sorta, you'll note that the introduction is _exactly _the same as the one in 'Looking for Something Specific?' some, Shockwave/Arcee scattered throughout.

**Disclaimer: **Transformers belongs to HasTak, Where's Waldo belongs to Satan. And I own $50, most of which is going to my War For Cybertron fund. 

Three Times a Charm

Where's Baldo- I mean, _Waldo_

Blackarachnia stretched her arms and yawned, her body ached in a few places but the movements made it feel better. She leaned back against the wall, a nap would be just divine, all four eyes closed and she allowed herself to drift into a light slumber. The techno-organic relaxed entirely and for a few precious moments it seemed that she would never leave the tranquility of half-sleep.

Unfortunately, she happened to open her eyes.

"Random get out of here." She warned with a hiss.

"Buh I didn't say anyzing yet!" He stammered.

"Out!" She insisted.

"Will jou help me find Valdo?" Random begged.

Blackarachnia tensed, prepared to bite him, but as Random flinched the spider let loose a sigh deciding to give him this one. "Okay, just this _once_." She promised, Random clapped his hands and grabbed her hand pulling her up, "Where's your book?" The techno-organic asked noticing it wasn't in his servos, torn in half or otherwise.

Random cocked his head as if this were a confusing concept. "Book?" He repeated.

"You said you wanted me to help you find Waldo, so where is your Where's Waldo Book?" she clarified, but a tingling feeling crawled up her back and suddenly she thought she'd gotten herself into way more than she'd bargained for.

Random's expression remained confused for a while before his up-to-something-grin (©)spread on across his features and he began to cackle, "Ohh, I zee! Jou zink ve're lookin for a _fictional_ character!!"

Blackarachnia _really_ did not want to know what he meant by that and so she back away declaring she was no longer interested, but eventually she had to go because Random started crying, and Primus forbid she _folded_.

She followed his as he skipped down the halls and opened a door and showed her in, "Jou an' Lugnut start 'ere!" He chirped happily and danced across the room to another room.

Inside Blackarachnia eyed Megatron's cultist, the bigger Decepticon did the same before his biggest optic narrowed and exhaled quietly "You too, huh?"

She sighed, "Yeah me too…"

--

LongArm was in his office, about to transform back into his true form so he could send some information to Megatron and perhaps chitchat for a while. Since his little Valentine's day episode with Arcee the Spy had rarely left his office and made it a goal to avoid the aforementioned femme, that way he didn't have to explain his behavior. Most of his activity was at night when he was sure she had gone home and he swapped gossip with the creepy janitor bot. Kup really wasn't that bad, very chatty, and maybe a little on the crazy side, but LongArm was sure there was something better the old veteran could do than wipe up energon spills for a living.

Anyway, for LongArm it was planned to be the same as it had been for a deca cycle. Stay out of sight or hearing range of everyone and avoid looking like and idiot. But he forgot to factor in one little detail that ruined his whole battle strategy.

_Knock, knock._

Unsuspecting, the double agent crossed the room to his door and opened it casually, only to have a box pushed into his hands and a gentle feminine voice announce, "Happy White Day!"

He almost dropped the box at the sight of Arcee. His sexual desires went through the roof as she smiled at him, "Hmm huh, wha..!?" he stuttered.

The pink femme's smile grew wider and she winked at him, "I didn't know what you meant by 'Valentine's Day' when you gave me that energon, so I looked it up." She explained touching a finger to his chassis. "Using an Earth holiday to tell a girl you like her, clever."

"I…um, er, yeah clever." He tried to steady his hands, and examined the box which he could only guess was filled with energon like the one he had given to her. There was an inscription on the package that caught his optics.

_Arcee LongArm Forever_. The words where written inside of a heart.

"Dear Primus…" he breathed.

"I looked a little further into this Valentine's Day thing," Arcee continued, "And I found out that in some countries of Earth they also celebrate White Day, where, depending which place you live, you give candy to thank people for the gifts you got on Valentine's, or…" she looked him right in the optics and gave the cutest smile he had seen on a femme, either as LongArm or Shockwave, "you give them to the one person you really like."

Then, without warning, Arcee reached up and placed her arms over Longarm's shoulder, and pressed her mouth against his.

At this LongArm did drop his energon gift.

--

While searching the base for a Waldo that wasn't fictional, Blackarachnia got very little information as to what they were actually looking for. Lugnut briefed her about how he, the other Blitzwings, and the Constructicons had been conned into this search as well. The Guitars were here voluntarily. No one else seemed to know anything either.

Megatron and Starscream entered the room where Blackarachnia, Lugnut and Angry where now searching. The two were arguing but not fighting just yet and they stopped to watch the other Decepticons open hidden compartments and thoroughly examine them before closing them again and moving somewhere else. "What are you guys doing?" Starscream finally asked.

Frenzy had run into the room to join and happily answered, "We're looking for Waldo!"

Megatron rolled his optics, "Random lost his book, I presume?"

"Nope!" The guitar replied, holding the volume up for Megatron to see, "Its right here, we're looking for the _real_ Waldo!"

Blackarachnia slapped her hand to her forehead and shrugged, giving her leader a desperate 'save me' look.

Random entered the room, smiling as he approached his fellow workers, "Any luck yet?"

The four shook their heads, Starscream laughed, "Of course not! You imbeciles do realize you're looking for a guy that doesn't exist, ri-"

As he was speaking, Megatron was rolling his optics when suddenly Galvatron spoke up. _Hey, what the frag…?_ His optics were drawn to movement and his jaw dropped slightly as a strange man, with brown hair, big glasses, blue jeans, and a red and white striped shirt with a hat to match peeked around a corner and tried to discreetly cross the room into the next one.

Random noticed him too, "Valdo!" He cried interrupting Starscream's rant. The man gave a terrified shriek and ran, Random followed, "After 'im!" he cried beckoning the others.

Frenzy dashed off instantly. Angry, Lugnut, and Blackarachnia gave each other a confused look before they stood up and too began to chase the mysterious stranger.

Starscream stared in numb shock at the scene he had just witnessed; he turned to Megatron, dumbfounded and asked, "You just saw that right?"

The Decepticon leader didn't respond, Galvatron reached out and shook the second-in-command's shoulder, "I will never doubt again." He said simply and dropped the subject to get a high-grade and contemplate how strange the universe really was; besides he was expecting a call from Shockwave soon.

--

Speaking of Shockwave and strange things in the universe, the double agent carefully caressed Arcee's helm as she recharged in his lap. He could believe what had just happened, begging to Primus, Unicron, and whatever other divine force there was out there, that this wasn't a dream…Or if it was, that it was a coma dream he'd never wake up from.

Arcee's beautiful blue optics on-lined for a moment and she smiled at him before shutting them off again and falling back into recharge, LongArm stroked her face and kissed her cheek, intending to join her in dream land, when his computer started to beep. Careful not to wake Arcee, he reached over her and answered.

Megatron's image appeared on screen, "Shockwave, I just had a really weird thing happen to me and-" he paused noticing that his double agent had not transformed yet, and also that he had company. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked.

"Yes actually." Shockwave replied bluntly, reaching over and turning his monitor off before his leader could respond. For good measure he also turned it off.

"Mmmm… LongArm?" Arcee lifted her head, "What was that? I thought I heard-"

"Probably just a dream." He said, sounding as reassuring as possible.

"Yeah…Probably…" She nuzzled his neck, and then looked back into his face, smiling again, "Ready for round two?"

"When you are." He replied with a grin.

_Dear Primus, this just might work out,_ he thought as they kissed again, _she just as nasty as I am._

**Author's end note: **No comment.

**Editor's Note:** Yep, that's that. Apparently Zaerith hasn't liked any of the ideas we've been coming up with on our own so if you would please donate a few ideas we'd both be much obliged.


	24. Welcome to the Family

**Author's Note: **Something I've been keeping in reserve, hope you enjoy

**Warning: **Sari's upgrade, a little experiment, the Decepticons get a pet and -HOLY FRAG!? WAS THAT SENTINEL!?!?!**  
Disclaimer: **I currently have a band-aid of TFA Megatron covering a blister on the bottom of my foot. That's about it. Why a band-aid featuring Megatron bears an Autobot insignia, not a Decepticon, is beyond me though.

Three Times a Charm

Welcome to the family

Last time we saw Sari and friends they were confused by the sudden appearance of Valentine's Day gifts. With a sudden time skip, Sari is now in an upgraded teenage form with the same stupid hairstyle. However things were different now that she was half robot, she couldn't really understand what Blackarachnia found so horrible about being half Cybertronian and half organic, but she supposed it had something to do with their different forms.

But despite that she and her father were closer than ever, and she connected more with her Autobot friends, Sari felt a little…lonesome. A bark at her feet drew the teenager's eyes from the ceiling.

"Hey there Sparkplug." She said with a light smile. Sparkplug alone didn't notice anything different about her, and acted the same as when she was a little girl. "Dogs really are man's best friend." She giggled picking up the robotic canine. Sparkplug barked happily, not even registering that his master was practically a superhero.

Suddenly Sari had an idea. If she was practically a superhero, then she needed a sidekid like all the great superheroes. She turned Sparkplug over, and placed a hand on his head, concentrating with all her might. Allspark energy surged through her. Sparkplug yelped and struggled out of her grasp.

The dog landed on the floor, growling, glowing, and _growing_. The small robot began to change, turning into something more wolf-like at first, then something reminiscent of a feline, finally stopping at some strange robotic, dog/cat hybrid. A ferocious looking one.

He snarled at her.

"Uh…Sparkplug…?" She said slowly, the robot started advancing on her, "N-nice doggy…_Good_ doggy."

Sparkplug gave a bark that was more like a roar and leapt, Sari shrieked, but the robotic creature moved passed her, crashing through the window of Sumdac tower and raced down the streets of Detroit.

"SPARKPLUG!" she shouted, she ran as fast as she could down to the entrance, transforming and heading after him, but the dog was gone. Quickly she went to the Autobot headquarters.

After explaining what she had done to her Autobot friends, and being scolded a bit for using her powers so loosely without knowing what could happen, the Autobot team discussed directions to take and teams to be divided in the search for the lost pet. Optimus called for them to start, but as they turned to begin their search the door to their headquarters burst open and an unidentified figure stepped forward.

Bumblebee shrieked, "MONSTER!" and ducked behind Bulk-Head, who also jumped back, crying out with fear. All of them raised their weapons at the creature that was covered in mud, algae, and reeked of foreign soil.

"Hey now, Optimus old buddy, is that any way to greet a friend?" The intruder announced.

Jaws dropped and so did weapons, "Sentinel!?" Optimus gasped, the mess of dirt and scum laughed.

"Who'd ja think it was, the Boogyman?" Sentinel replied.

"Yes actually." Bumblebee murmured crawling out from behind Bulk-Head, this made the other Prime laugh harder.

They could see him now, behind all the grim, but they couldn't believe it, "What happened to you…" Ratchet asked, "You realize you're covered head to toe in-"

"Mud? Yes, I know, I just got back from the Congo." Sentinel answered.

"What?" Came the unanimous question.

The filth covered Prime quickly explained how stress from working so hard had started to take its toll and how he'd been granted extended vacation time, "I figured, if being afraid of organics is one of my biggest concerns, I should go somewhere where I could get over my fears. The Congo is full of amazing organic life, y'know, a week in there and my phobia was practically gone!"

Optimus smiled, "That's great Sentinel."

"Did you see anything interesting?" Prowl asked.

"Hmm? What? Interesting? Oh, _yeah_, I saw the Mokele-Mebe. Nice gal, I just never figured out why she didn't like hippos."

"The what?"

"Ha-ha. Don't watch a lot of stuff on cryptozoology do ya?" Sentinel went into detail about strange creatures that were thought to live on this planet, but could not be proven to exist. "I came back to the states to look for a few Cyptids 'round here, then I thought I'd pop in for a quick visit."

"That was nice," Optimus said looking his old friend over in amazement. Whatever he'd done in the congo had done wonders for him, Sentinel's old smile was back, he didn't seem as tense, definitely more friendly, and he was much more relaxed. It was like the thing with Elita had never happened, aside from the unidentified goo coving his paint. "What's your plan now? Are you going back to the Elite Guard?"

Sentinel laughed, "Frag no!" He announced surprising them all, "I've been missing out all these stellar cycles! I've got a lot to catch up on! As soon as I leave here, I'm going to Point Pleasant to see if I can find the Mothman! Hey, there are plenty of creatures right here in America I can look for."

"Creatures?" Bumblebee repeated uneasily, "Ya' mean- like _real_ monsters?"

The Prime nodded vigorously, "There's Bigfoot, the Jersey Devil, the Dover Demon, slag, there have even been reports of Chupacabura sightings as far as Miami!"

"I don't think I've even seen him this excited about anything…" Ratchet whispered.

"Before the incident that caused his organic phobia, Sentinel _loved_ the idea of seeing strange exotic places and creatures, looks like that's back." Optimus explained.

"Well," The vacationing commander said, "I just dropped by to say hi, and it looked like you guys were going to do something, so I'd better be on my way."

Prowl stepped forward, "Don't you think it would be a good idea to…wash off first?" he suggested indicating the Prime's coat of muck.

Sentinel looked down at himself and shrugged, "I…guess," he said, "But I've sort of gotten attached to this algae growing on my servo, see, look it's in the shape of a smiley face." he lifted his palm for them to see.

Bumblebee thought it was worse than the mold in his room, "That's disgusting!" he blurted.

Sentinel cradled his hand and looked offended on the Algae's behalf. "He didn't mean that. Shh, shh, don't cry, Daddy's here." The Autobots stared at him in shock, before Sentinel burst out laughing again, "Had you going there, didn't I!? You thought I was off my rocker, didn't you!?"

"Now more than ever." Bulk-Head whispered quietly.

"Um, not to break up this happy little fun time…" Sari stated, "But Sparkplug is still missing."

"That's right," Optimus said, he turned back to Sentinel, "Well, it was great to see you, I hope you have fun on your monster hunt, but, uh…you really _should_ get washed up."

"That's cool, I was planning on it anyway." Sentinel said, "Good luck finding your lost…guy?"

"Dog." Sari corrected.

"Dog, whatever, see you around."

With that Sentinel transformed, heading into the city trying to find a car wash. Everyone turned and stared at Optimus. "It's really great to have the old Sentinel back." Was all he had to say.

Meanwhile a fight had broken out at the Decepticon base. Angry and Cold had been…discussing what was going on between them, there was no denying it now, there was some sort of social tension between them that was more then just the bond of having once been the same 'con. While discussing what to do about it, Angry's temper had flared and one thing lead to another and Megatron tossed him out of the base for being disruptive while he was trying to get his perfect score and refused to let him come back until he could act like an adult.

That was how he'd come across this strange robot.

The metal creature was not of Cybertronian origin, but Angry could sense something of their home planet within it, like the Constructicons, almost. The creature snarled at him, Angry fired on it, literally, Flames burned the vegetation around it, and the snarl became a whimper.

"Look at Jou!" Angry roared, "Jou ar zo veak and pazetic, I could burn jou to notzing 'ere an' now, an' jou could do anyzing to stop meh!" The creature whimpered again, Angry glared at it, "Zo veak! Zo defensless! Zo Pazetic!"

He stepped forward through the flames, picked the robot up, and cradled it against his chassis, "I zink I'll call jou Gizmo." He decided.

**Author's end note: **Gizmo's going to be a lot of fun, remember that.

**Editor's note: **We know someone wanted the Decepticons to have a pet, but what they didn't know is that we already had that planned. Gizmo is planned to be based off the dog of a friend of ours so some of the things he does will be based on real events.


	25. Dumb Laws

**Author's Note: **In my ASL class we were looking up facts for an assigned states (my group got Arizona) to sign for the class, eventually I found dumb laws and one thing led to another and now…I blame the law makers of America for this one.**  
Warning: **Re-read note, that's warning enough**  
Disclaimer: **Don't think so, I don't have the money.

Three times a Charm

The Dumb laws of Michigan

Fanzone sat in his police truck sipping his morning coffee. Today was going to be a dozy on his sanity, he just knew it. The fact that Sentinel Prime was making his forth stop to say good bye ensured that. Not to say that Fanzone didn't appreciate it, with the mutual attitudes they displayed to one another it was easy to say they had become the kind of friends that fight all the time, so he was glad to know that's Sentinel was getting over whatever it was he had against organics, but _please_.

"Hey officer." Sentinel said pulling up in vehicle mode with a hologram of a youthful, but experienced looking young man in the driver's seat, "I just wanted to-"

"Yes, I know, you're leaving _goodbye_." The cop grumbled.

"Yes, that, I'll see you around but that's not what I came to say," the Prime replied pointing out the window, "See those men out at the dealership? They need to be arrested."

Fanzone spat out his coffee, "What? They haven't done anything wrong, why should I arrest them."

"Because it's a Sunday," The robot answered, "And according to the laws of Michigan, it's illegal to sell cars on Sundays."

"Wha-" Fanzone reached over to his laptop and quickly pulled up his set of laws for Michigan State and skimmed through, "By golly it is…" he muttered.

"That guy over there!" Sentinel pointed again, "He just scowled at his wife! That's illegal on Sundays as well!"

"Yeah…" Fanzone looked at the blue truck, "What did you do, _memorize_ all the laws of my town."

"Without law, all is chaos." Sentinel replied, "It's my motto, I make a point of learning important societal laws of everywhere I go."

"Except traffic laws?"  
"I'm working on that."

"Right, well I guess I believe you" The chief of police sighed, "Any other offense to the law you noticed you want to report before you leave?"

"Yeah." Sentinel revved his engine, "I've been seeing femmes of your kind going in and out of barber shops for weeks, and it says that they can't do that without their husband's permission, you should set up drones to be sure they have that permission. And I'd keep an eye on the trains too, it's illegal to be drunk on them, but I'm seeing people sneaking your high-grade stuff on them" Sentinel looked across the street "Oh! And that Putt-putt golf course has been open since noon yesterday."

Fanzone looked at his computer, "Those are supposed to close at one in the morning."

"Uh-huh!"

A boy about the age of thirteen came running up playing with a toy gun. "Bang, bang!" he shouted shooting a small piece of foam into Sentinel's cab as he passed. The fake ammunition passed through the hologram's forehead, but the boy didn't notice and was busy running from his gaining mother.

"Nice shot!" Sentinel called after him, "Hey squishy, you should consider asking him to join the force."

"No way!" Fanzone replied, then he looked at his computer again catching a line that read, _'Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.'_ "Or maybe I could…"

Almost at random, the cop's radio came on blasting music at high volume.

**"Prison gates won't open up for me!**

** On these hands and knees I'm crawling**

** And I reach for you!"**

"Piece of Crap!" The human yelled slamming the radio, "I ought to buy a new one and smash this one into pieces!"

"I wouldn't do that." Sentinel said.

Fanzone was about to ask why when he saw it for himself, _'Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.'_ "Man, do we have some dumb laws in this state!" The man sighed, "How could this get any weirder?"

As if waiting for a cue, several robots came from as many directions.

"Sparkplug, Sparkplug, here boy!" The voice belonged to Sari Sumdac, but Fanzone wasn't used to seeing her in that robot form. The rest of the Autobot crew ran behind her, weapons raised and pointed at the two Blitzwings that also chased the dog, along with a pig that was decked out like a punk, including a leather jacket.

"Nien!" The Blitzwing that everyone had come to call 'Angry' shouted, "Gizmo! To _me_!"

"He's not your dog!" Sari shouted.

"Iz too!"

"Is not!"

"Iz too!"

"Is not!"

"Iz too!"

"Is not!"

"Forget about ze dog!" Came the cackle of 'Random' "Vatch out for ze pig!. 'ere piggy, piggy, piggy!"

Angry roared loudly, "Ven I catch jou, I vill kill jou vith a decompression Chambah!"

"That's illegal!" Sentinel shouted, transforming and raising his weapons defensively.

Angry glared at him, "Not Gizmo jou stoopid Autobot Scrap heap!" He clarified, "Random! Zat idiot drezzed up a pig an let it loose! Talk to 'im about illegal practices!"

Sentinel turned his head and took a close look at Random's pig, "Nah, its fine."

"Fine!" The red faced Blitzwing cried, "How iz zat fine!"  
Fanzone peeked out the window of his police car and read the law out loud. "_It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose._"

The pig, indeed, had a ring in its nose.

The other Autobots stared in shock, both at the insanely stupid law, and at Sparkplug who happily bounded to Angry, barking cheerfully. Sentinel shrugged his shoulders, "I don't make the rules, I just enforce them." He looked at the dog that nuzzled itself in the Decepticon's arms, "You take good care of that pooch, alright? And…uh, would you give this to Blackarachnia for me?"

He handed the Decepticon something that the others couldn't see. Angry nodded, it was a box of energon goodies, like she had sent him, yeah, he'd make sure it got delivered. Sentinel thanked him, and announced that he was leaving, for real this time and transformed, driving off. Angry held Gizmo to him, and grabbed Random, dragging him away. The Autobots stared, and Fanzone backed his car away from the group.

He looked at the laws of Michigan on his laptop again. He and the entire police force had _really _been slacking.

**Author's end note: **Yeah, random little insert…I'm going to sleep now…

**Editor's note: **Tell us what you think nafkjdsnklsagnm,asnfgnb (sorry fell asleep on the key board.)


End file.
